April 2022
Most, if not all of my posts have been uplifting, encouraging, positive, funny and interesting. This one though will take a turn to the dark and scary side of being an older single woman and travelling by oneself.
I won’t mince words over my personal experience and feelings from my road trip in July 2021. For me, it is as important to share all the positive aspects of being single, as well as those instances where it can be scary, very scary…..
All the planning involved to do a Ontario Beach road trip was completed by mid June 2021. Hotels booked, local restaurants sourced, the #CAA road maps were all highlighted with my potential routes, cat care was arranged with my neighbours, bills were paid and itineraries were sent to various family members. The day before, the car was taken to the mechanic for a last minute emergency window repair and an oil change.
All was good, and then a severe panic and anxiety attack……I would be driving on several major highways the next morning, during rush hour and with hundreds of transport trucks in the lanes next to me…..The weather forecast called for sunshine, blue skies…Yet I could not shake the feeling – that I was going to be in a car accident and I would not be going home………Only a few weeks ago, a person lost his life, when the steel overhead sign on a highway, was bumped by a rig, the sign fell on top of this man’s SUV and killed him instantly.
I would be driving past/underneath that very sign…….
In my panic, anxiety and nightmares, I had convinced myself that I did not see the end of this wonderful trip….All sorts of worries and fears haunted me for DAYS……..I came so close to cancelling this trip, I couldn’t do it……This was my WORST FEAR – how would my kids and my parents be contacted, would the police/paramedics/firefighters know who to contact, would my sister know where my Will was, would she know how to access my bank accounts to pay my bills, what would happen to my cats…????. My poor dad at 87, would lose his eldest daughter….. I could not put them through all of this…..
Then, I had to put a stop to this irrational fear… I prayed and prayed hard….. asking my Heavenly Father to protect me and bring me safely to all the places I was going and to bring me safely home again…..
If this trip was going to be my end, then so be it…..my time had come…..With that sobering thought in the back of my mind, I prepared my car for the trip…..copies of the Hotel confirmations were in my purse and in the car, the maps were laid out in the car, I printed out an ICE ( In case of Emergency) document, one was posted on my fridge at home, one was emailed to my sister, one was in my purse and one was placed on the passenger seat of my car….just in case…..
I altered the start route just slightly, so that I would not be driving all major highways and stopped for a drink when my anxiety levels got the best of me…my sister tracked my phone while I drove, so that she could track my location….but after about an hour, I knew I had to stop, this was not fair to her…
I started my vacation at about 9:15 that first morning and made a few stops along the way before reaching my first destination – Leamington, ON. I arrived at the hotel at approx 5 pm that day…a brief but heavy downpour escorted me along the country roads….lol….
I continued with my nightly and morning prayers every day of that road trip. Asking for safety on the roads, in my car, on foot and in the water and to keep me free from evil, harm, injury and tragedy….
When I returned home the following week, I had driven 1445 kilometres, with no incidents.
Thank you for reading and for letting me share.
Joye
Single Older Woman - Living Life Passionately 