Category: Uncategorized

Single Older Woman – Life Experiences – Friends and being grateful

Nov 2022

I worked for a major international pharmaceutical company in the early 2000’s. I developed a friendship with one of the Territory Managers, who resided in British Columbia. My contract was terminated in Oct 2008 and I was let go. She and I maintained contact over the years and finally in Oct 2018 ( 10 years to the day since we last saw each other), I flew to Vancouver to visit her for the weekend.

Fast forward to Sept 2021 and her work would bring her to Ontario for a weekend. She of course, stayed at my place and we had one day to go for walks, eat, chit chat and catch up. At that time, she was dealing with a serious health issue and feeling quite despondent over her future. She was also alone, albeit a mom and grandma, but still alone. She had traveled to many places around the world and kept active, with her kids, her grand babies, her hiking excursions and exploring her beautiful province.

I was dismayed to hear her admit, that she felt like she had nothing to get up for in the morning and nothing to be excited about….This upset me very much. I could not handle knowing she had this “pain”.

This got me thinking – I feel blessed every day and I wondered where these feelings for me come from……

I pray every day and give thanks for all of the blessings in my life – my parents, my children, my siblings, my cats, my warm bed, my roof over my head, my good health, my pool swims, my job, my car, food and water, clothes and shoes, money in the bank, money to pay my bills, Canada, beaches, lakes, oceans, trains, waterfalls, forests, birds, animals, open green spaces, cake, freedom, democracy, diversity, inclusion, religion, govt, police/nurses/fireman/doctors, etc.

When my mother passed away quite unexpectedly in Dec. 2017, I could either wallow in sadness or I could be happy. Of course, not that I was happy that my mother passed away, but I did not want to be that person who carried the weight of losing their mom suddenly. So I chose to be “Excellent” and in those early days of 2018, I would explain why I was “Excellent”. How you feel and how you view your world should not be based on any current circumstance, ie, my mother died from stage 4 colon cancer within 3 weeks of her initial diagnosis… but instead on how grateful and blessed you feel overall.

A life philosophy…..

Would you much rather hang around someone who is always mad, sad, maudlin, irritated, pessimistic or someone that exudes joy, happiness, contentment, peace, excitement, love, compassion. I chose to be the happy one – the one to share a moment of joy with every one, every day.

For me, this makes my world more joyful and more positive.

I wake up and look forward to a good cup of coffee, a glass of wine in the evenings, how my body feels after an invigorating swim, a walk in the park, spending time with my kids, spending time with my bff’s, seeing squirrels, birds, rabbits, dogs, beautiful flowers, a blue sky, watching and listening to the rain fall from underneath my backyard gazebo, visiting with family, starting a novel and finishing that novel, doing a craft and sharing it with others, planning my next vacation, free groceries, etc. I’m sure you get the point.

My vacation plans for 2023 include a trip to BC – and I hope to spend a few days again with this beautiful soul.

Acknowledgement – my dear dear friend and fellow June birthday girl – you know who you are and I thank you for your friendship and for being in my life…. this post is dedicated to you……Be well and be loved.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Life’s Passion – Living it – Alone

Nov 2022

Now:

I am mother/momma to my 2 “twenty-something” children, I was the eldest daughter to my parents, but now one of 2 primary care supporters to my dad, I am my sister’s big sister, I am a friend to women in my life from my teenage years, I’m like a daughter to a beautiful friend whose 18 years my senior, I was a wife, I was the woman so proud to boast she could spell -“supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”…..lol…, I was the novel enthusiast who could read over 330 words a minute and finish a book in about a day and a half.

Then:

I was the volunteer that delivered books from the library to those in our community that did not have access to a car or were infirm, I’m a cat mom to Dakota and Caissie, I was the volunteer at the Women’s Abuse shelter, I was the feline foster parent, I was the survivor of domestic and verbal abuse while I was a wife and then again at the hands of my eldest, when they lived with me.

I was a volunteer for several organizations in Mississauga, I sang in the church choir, I was the one that organized bff weekends, bff spa days and bff get togethers, I was the one that would drive you to work and pick you up again, when you asked, I was the one that would be there with my car to help you move, yet when I moved from a 4 bdrm townhouse to a 2 bdrm, within my co-op community, I did it by myself with two very young children.

I was the one, when a car accident left me without a vehicle for almost 6 months, that did everything by myself.

I was the one that loved to do crafty things, paint crafty things, make crafty things for my backyard oasis, I was the one that made these same crafts and shared them with family, with my neighbours and my co-workers.

I was the one that re-discovered my love for swimming, in my late forties and now as I approach my sixties, I miss my evening swims and being able to share that experience with others. I’m afraid to go out at night for a swim, cause of my worry that some tragedy will befall me or that I will drown.

I miss those evening swims – I miss getting into my car, turning on the seat warmers and having a glass of merlot, when I got home and then going to bed.

I was the one that really was not a nature enthusiast, but now, all my FB posts highlight ALL THE PARKS AND WATERFALLS I visit.

I was the woman that found a list of the 10 Best Beaches in Canada and I developed a goal poster and plan to conquer them all – well not the Yukon nor the Northwest Territories.

I write a blog and people from around the world read this little blog about a single older woman from a major city, in a large province in the Country of Canada, whose living her Life’s Passion – alone.

And, I’m all alone and struggling every day to find meaning and purpose in my life. Who will I be, when my dad is gone, when my kids no longer speak to me, when I’ve swam at all the beaches, and read all the books????

When friends and family delight in their children and grandchildren, where will I be? I will be alone.

The same message has been shared over and over again during the pandemic – ” we are all in this together”, “check on your friends and family and those that live alone”. Sometimes I feel like that request has become a cliche, the nice thing to say, it sounds good on the radio and on the advertising billboards.

When one is alone, one has so many other anxieties and fears they must face – what happens if something happens to me? when I get sick, when I fall, if I’m in a car accident, when I’m away on vacation? Who will know to contact my children, my dad, my siblings?

What will be my legacy? I pray everyday – God, what is my purpose, what is my talent, my gift- that you want me to share? Is this forum my gift to the world? to tell stories? to share my life experiences? to motivate and encourage others? to look after cats? to read to others? I don’t know.

Right now this is my forum to share my stories, my funny experiences, my AHA moments, my encouraging anecdotes, my single person life experiences. Periodically – my gut wrenching truths, my sadness, my fears.

I endeavour to always be a light, my glass is always half full, yet sometimes, I have to get things off my chest. I have no one to share these truths with. I am alone.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Life’s Passion – Vacation Ideas 2022, River Cruising

Oct 2021

This is about the time of year when I start to consider and budget for, my vacation for the following year.

Initially the plan was to do another road trip through Ontario, so that I can complete my last 2 Ontario beaches – Singing Sands in Tobermory and Sandbanks in Prince Edward County. This would allow me additional vacation time to do my European River Cruise in the Fall 2022, taking me from Amsterdam to Basel, Switzerland and then the train north back to the Netherlands.

Well, one weekend, sitting at home, I’m flipping through my current CAA Membership Magazine and I come across an ad for the St. Lawrence River Cruise Line. This is a Canadian River Cruise that sails along the mighty and popular St. Lawrence River, from Kingston to points east – Montreal, Ottawa, Quebec.

Home

The idea began to form – maybe I should consider doing a cruise like this, on Canadian waters and close to home, before I embark on a river cruise in Europe. I’ve never been on a river cruise, save for the ferry that took us to Centre Island in Toronto when I was a teenager.

Now the idea for a new vacation adventure, started to take shape. I would take the VIA rail train from Toronto Union Station to Kingston ON. I would sail from Kingston to Quebec City and then get on the train for my journey to Truro, NS. Then a week or so in NS and PEI and return home on the train.

Perfect! All train, boat, ferry and rental car – no flying involved.

Fast forward to mid November 2021 and I’m having lunch at work. I decide to call St. Lawrence Cruise Lines and inquire about availability for July 2022. I was shocked to learn they were almost booked for all of July – already! Quick – I asked the agent – what dates and routes were still available? She advised only Ottawa to Kingston from July 28 – Aug. 3. Well then, right away I gave her all my contact info and advised a cheque would be in the mail for the $350 deposit.

This would change my travel plans slightly but I knew I could make it work…..

This vacation would also stretch my budget quite extensively and the 2 1/2 weeks away from my felines, would take their toll – both on me, my neighbours and the cats…

Stay tuned.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Canadian Beaches-Sauble Beach – Beach #6- Accomplished

July 2021

For all of us that call this part of Ontario home with Georgian Bay to the north, London to the west, Kingston to the East and Niagara Falls to the south, we are very blessed to have Lake Ontario, Lake Huron. Lake Erie in our backyard.

We also have 4 of the Best Beaches of Canada on our doorstep and a 2 hour drive from home. There is Sandbanks in Prince Edward County, Wasaga Beach in Collingwood, Singing Sands Beach in Tobermory and Sauble Beach in Owen Sound.

As a warm slightly overcast day as today is, the roads leading to Sauble Beach were packed with families, teenagers, friends etc all descending on Lake Huron to enjoy this beach and all of its amenities. We all were just “itching” to get back to normal. I was one of those people too. As I scoured the roads along the beach path, looking for a place to park, I had some concerns and anxiety that maybe I would not be able to accomplish my goal. Everyone in Ontario was here, it seemed!

Finally, I found a spot on the road. I parked my car and purchased a 2 hour digital parking pass. I grabbed my bag and searched out a place to change into my swim suit.

I had to pack light, as there would be no one watching my things while I went into the water. So only the bare minimum…..

I spread out my beach towel and perused the sandy beach looking for someone or a family, that I could approach to help me with my task.

I found such a family and after a few minutes chatting, the mom and I headed out to the water.

My phone was safely stored inside a waterproof phone case and we got ready to film…..In I went!

After a few circles and dunks underneath and some waves out to my photographer, I walked out of the water. Another beach done! I thanked my volunteer and wished her and her family a pleasant day.

I changed back into my driving clothes and gave up my parking spot to someone else eager to enjoy Sauble Beach for the day.

Next stop – Sauble Falls another #ontarioparks location.

I headed home on Tuesday July 20. Once I reached home, I checked the odometer and was surprised to see that I had driven over 1450 kilometres on this 6 day road trip through southwestern Ontario.

Thank you for reading and letting me share.

Stay tuned as I plan for 2 more Canadian beaches in 2022 – Singing Sands in Tobermory and Sandbanks in Prince Edward County.

Joye

Single Older Woman- Cdn Vacations-Road Trips – Goderich 2021

July 2021

Sat July 17 – I wrapped up my short 2 day excursion in Leamington and prepared the car for my trip to Goderich and Owen Sound. I picked up some groceries and snacks yesterday. I checked out of the motel and got on the road.

First stop was in Kingsville where I stopped into the Dutch Boys Chocolate store #dutchboyschocolate. I chatted with the owner, Cor, picked up some delectable truffles and bid him “tot ziens”.

My next stop was the Pelee Island Winery, where I bought two of their local wines, to enjoy when I got to my hotel, in Goderich.

It is now almost noon and the skies are blue once again and the sun is shining.

I was relieved to have a working driver side window again, as of last weekend, it was malfunctioning and I had it repaired the day before my vacation.

The drive northeast would take about 3 hours and I was in no hurry – I had all day to enjoy the scenery and the quiet roads and the 80/hour speed limit. I stopped in Chatham for a pit stop and a mid day coffee and got back on the road. After a couple of hours of solitary and scenic driving, I arrived in Grand Bend- home to Pinery Provincial Park and a few lovely beaches. I was eager to get to the hotel, out of the drivers seat and into a swim suit. First though a sit down meal.

I arrived at the Comfort Inn Hotel and with a recommendation from the manager, headed to the waterfront for dinner at the infamous #beachstreetstation restaurant. I enjoyed a well prepared fish and chips dinner and a cocktail.

Then a stroll along St. Christopher’s Beach boardwalk. Its so nice to see so many people out and about enjoying the views, the sun and blue skies.

I returned to my hotel, donned my swim suit and headed to the hotel’s indoor pool.

I touched on this non event, in one of my other posts – Canadians being a hearty bunch when it came to tolerating the cold waters of our lakes and ocean. This was the one time I could not enjoy the water – far too cool still…..

Tomorrow’s adventures will take me on a tour of the surrounding towns of Goderich and Grand Bend.

Stay tuned

Thank you for reading and letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Cdn vacations – Outings #10 – Edmonton, AB

August 2019

With only a few days to explore Edmonton, after my beach swim at Devonshire, I spent one afternoon strolling along the downtown shops and even discovered that donairs are popular here too, not just in Nova Scotia.

As I made my way back to my hotel, I stopped into the local aircraft museum.

The next day, was cloudy and overcast, so I hopped into my SUV and decided to get my steps in at West Edmonton Mall….well then, I certainly got my steps in!!! This complex is MASSIVE. I could not have fathomed previously just how huge this place was – a full swimming/wave pool, complete with water slides, the movie theatre, on the second level, with at least 6 different screens, the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co restaurant ( Forrest Gump fame) and of course, the PIRATE Ship!!! right smack dab in the middle of the mall.

Now I’d seen everything! I picked up some souvenirs for the kids, stopped for a coffee and cinnamon bun and left the mall.

I also discovered a local community centre near by with public swimming, so I stopped in, paid $10 and enjoyed a refreshing, leisurely swim to give my tired feet a break.

Tomorrow I would head home, courtesy of Westjet Airlines.

Another beach done, along with a short interesting exploration of another beautiful province, Alberta.

Thank you for reading and letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Cdn vacations – Outings #9- Edmonton, AB

August 2019

The hotel shuttle driver collected my bags on the morning of Aug 13 and we made our way to the Via Rail Station. We even had time to grab a Tim’s coffee and a small box of timbits for him and his co-workers at the hotel.

Waiting to head to the Via Rail station
Dome Car – great for additional sightseeing opportunities

You can read more about this train experience in my earlier post entitled Via Rail Excursions #3.

En route to Edmonton, AB

I arrived in Edmonton, shortly after dinner and hailed a cab to the local hotel.

I spent only 4 days in Edmonton before my flight home on August 17.

Stay tuned as I share some of the experiences and adventures while in Alberta.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Cdn Vacations – Outings #6 – Liberation Park

July 18, 2021

I’m already halfway through my short road trip and today I’m in Goderich.

The drive to #OwenSound will only take about 1 1/2 hours, so today was a local exploration day. Then a leisurely drive north on hwy 21 to Owen Sound and my final hotel stay, at #Innon6th.

I had a continental breakfast at the hotel, checked out around 11 am and made my way to the centre of Goderich.

I discovered previously in my tourist research, a dedication park , celebrating the Liberation of the Netherlands from Germany, was located in Goderich. I had to check this out on behalf of my parents.

#LiberationMemorialPark Goderich, ON

My parents belonged to a choir, in the late 1980’s, known as the #Liberationchoir and they performed throughout Ontario and traveled to the Netherlands to perform with dozens of other choirs for this same purpose.

Just as I cherished my earlier visit to #Pier21 in Halifax, NS to see the passenger manifest of when my dad came to Canada, being able to walk through this memorial was equally important to me.

With this visit complete, it was time to get on the road.

Next stop – Owen Sound and #Innon6.

Thank you for reading and letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Life’s passion – Canadians are a hearty bunch

July 2021

After being on the road for most of the day with blue skies and sunshine, I arrived at my stop over hotel in Goderich, ON. This hotel boasted an indoor pool and I was thrilled to be able to go for a swim later that evening.

Well, as most hotel chains were just starting to re-open after many lockdowns, getting the pool water to the right temperature takes more than turning on the heater that afternoon.

I returned to my room, after dinner at the #BeachStreetStation restaurant, donned my swim suit, and headed to the pool. Well then, the temperature left a lot to be desired and I found myself unable to submerge myself in the water – it was frigid cold…..not “polar dip” lake cold, but uncomfortable enough that I could not enjoy it. So I would have to wait until my lake swim at #SaubleBeach, before I could revel in the warm, therapeutic, calming effects of the water.

I’ve spent my entire life in the water- as children, we were blessed to have an outdoor pool in our backyard, summers were spent at Bluewater Beach and/or #WasagaBeach on #GeorgianBay, indoor pools at our fitness gyms and most recently at our community centres, where I’ve been a regular lap swimmer for the last 13 years. The average temperature of these pools is usually around 85 degrees celsius….

For many years, in spring and fall, my bff’s and I would travel north to the #ScandinaveSpa to enjoy the scenery, the wooded areas, the saunas, hot tub, steam rooms and the lovely lounge areas in front of the wood burning stove.

Only two of my lovely friends, had the courage and gumption, to jump into and submerge themselves completely in the Nordic waterfall or the cold plunge bath. Nope, I could not do it – I headed to right to the Hot Baths…..lol…

Most of the lakes in Canada are not the warmest and unless our summers are super warm, the temperature rises to about 20 – 22 degrees celsius. So, we’ve all learned to cope with it……eg – those that take the plunge in Lake Ontario for the annual New Year’s Day Polar Ice dip…..not this Canadian…..sorry…

Thank you for reading and letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Point Pelee Nat’l Park – Part 2

July 16, 2021

As I made my way, in the rain, through the park, I was not bothered by the light rain fall. It felt rather serene and peaceful, surrounded by all the greenery, trees, broken tree limbs and branches, etc. There were only a few people around and not many had ventured to the “beach”.

I found a deserted spot and after removing my shoes and socks, put my feet in the water….

I returned to the trail and found myself at the “Tip”.

The “Tip” of the most southern point of mainland Canada.

As I stood there and watched the waves slam against the edge, felt the wind whipping around, strained to see through the clouds and feel the rain pelt down on me, I was awe inspired and just slightly intimidated by the sheer vastness of Lake Erie and knowing that the US was somewhere on the other side.

It was a really neat feeling to know that I, on my own, had traveled this far south in Canada…. The sheer vastness and size of our beautiful country continues to inspire me.

A memorial sign is posted at the entrance to this section, dedicated to the few young people that have attempted to swim in this water and who ultimately lost their lives.

Not surprisingly, I spent a few minutes reflecting on the realization, that I was here alone, in the rain, with waves beating around me and no one else with me.

These are the challenges I face when I venture out, on my travels to seek and pursue and accomplish my goals….

The rain fall was so cleansing and I did not mind being soaked to the skin. By the time I got back to the pick up point for the shuttle, we had a near thunderstorm. Best to get out from under all those trees.

I made my way back to the car and headed back to the motel. I picked up a lottery ticket and dinner and once I returned, I sat outside and had a glass of wine.

The next morning, I would continue my road trip -first a short side trip to Kingsville to meet the owner of a small Dutch chocolate company, #DutchBoyschocolate and a trip to Pelee Island Winery to pick up, what else – wine!.

On Saturday, I travel north to Goderich, for one night. Then on to Owen Sound to swim at Sauble Beach.

Stay tuned.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share.

Joye