Nov 2022
Now:
I am mother/momma to my 2 “twenty-something” children, I was the eldest daughter to my parents, but now one of 2 primary care supporters to my dad, I am my sister’s big sister, I am a friend to women in my life from my teenage years, I’m like a daughter to a beautiful friend whose 18 years my senior, I was a wife, I was the woman so proud to boast she could spell -“supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”…..lol…, I was the novel enthusiast who could read over 330 words a minute and finish a book in about a day and a half.
Then:
I was the volunteer that delivered books from the library to those in our community that did not have access to a car or were infirm, I’m a cat mom to Dakota and Caissie, I was the volunteer at the Women’s Abuse shelter, I was the feline foster parent, I was the survivor of domestic and verbal abuse while I was a wife and then again at the hands of my eldest, when they lived with me.
I was a volunteer for several organizations in Mississauga, I sang in the church choir, I was the one that organized bff weekends, bff spa days and bff get togethers, I was the one that would drive you to work and pick you up again, when you asked, I was the one that would be there with my car to help you move, yet when I moved from a 4 bdrm townhouse to a 2 bdrm, within my co-op community, I did it by myself with two very young children.
I was the one, when a car accident left me without a vehicle for almost 6 months, that did everything by myself.
I was the one that loved to do crafty things, paint crafty things, make crafty things for my backyard oasis, I was the one that made these same crafts and shared them with family, with my neighbours and my co-workers.
I was the one that re-discovered my love for swimming, in my late forties and now as I approach my sixties, I miss my evening swims and being able to share that experience with others. I’m afraid to go out at night for a swim, cause of my worry that some tragedy will befall me or that I will drown.
I miss those evening swims – I miss getting into my car, turning on the seat warmers and having a glass of merlot, when I got home and then going to bed.
I was the one that really was not a nature enthusiast, but now, all my FB posts highlight ALL THE PARKS AND WATERFALLS I visit.
I was the woman that found a list of the 10 Best Beaches in Canada and I developed a goal poster and plan to conquer them all – well not the Yukon nor the Northwest Territories.
I write a blog and people from around the world read this little blog about a single older woman from a major city, in a large province in the Country of Canada, whose living her Life’s Passion – alone.
And, I’m all alone and struggling every day to find meaning and purpose in my life. Who will I be, when my dad is gone, when my kids no longer speak to me, when I’ve swam at all the beaches, and read all the books????
When friends and family delight in their children and grandchildren, where will I be? I will be alone.
The same message has been shared over and over again during the pandemic – ” we are all in this together”, “check on your friends and family and those that live alone”. Sometimes I feel like that request has become a cliche, the nice thing to say, it sounds good on the radio and on the advertising billboards.
When one is alone, one has so many other anxieties and fears they must face – what happens if something happens to me? when I get sick, when I fall, if I’m in a car accident, when I’m away on vacation? Who will know to contact my children, my dad, my siblings?
What will be my legacy? I pray everyday – God, what is my purpose, what is my talent, my gift- that you want me to share? Is this forum my gift to the world? to tell stories? to share my life experiences? to motivate and encourage others? to look after cats? to read to others? I don’t know.
Right now this is my forum to share my stories, my funny experiences, my AHA moments, my encouraging anecdotes, my single person life experiences. Periodically – my gut wrenching truths, my sadness, my fears.
I endeavour to always be a light, my glass is always half full, yet sometimes, I have to get things off my chest. I have no one to share these truths with. I am alone.
Thank you for reading and for letting me share.
Joye
Single Older Woman - Living Life Passionately 