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This entry today is a public service message for the greater good and the safety of women and men alike who may have fallen or been prey to the online romance scam artists.

Right off  – this entry may or may not exceed my word limit, so bear with me.

However, to all of you that read this – you have my permission to share this with your bff’s, your guy friends, your parents, siblings, your children, your elderly neighbours, your social media groups etc.

We need to get the word out so that not one other person loses their livelihood to an unscrupulous, malicious, uncaring, and dishonest con artist. In Canada, we have a special division of the police -the Anti Fraud Unit. I plan to share the emails and instagram posts with them so that they can publish my experience to help others. I may also work to get my story out to out local news outlets.. spread the word, please!!

During this pandemic, we are all at home, surfing the Net, reading page after page of Instagram posts, while a few of us single ones are looking for that person to connect with online.

My story is a common one. To reassure you, I did not fall victim, in that I did not lose money, jewels, investments, etc. I chose to keep the facade going in order to share with you some commonalities about how these people operate.

I too, joined the Facebook Dating portal, in the hopes of finding my new Mr. Right and you guessed it, one of the men that contacted me, was a romance scammer.

Our conversations didn’t last too long as he never seemed to accurately answer the questions I had for him and they were very vague and not specific. This brief interlude lasted about a week until I caught on and then I ended the conversation.

One other experience involved a gent claiming to be some sort of engineer who was currently in the “high land of Ghana” to finalize some Estate dealings from his late father. After a while, I got bored with the daily expressions of love and devotion and was not going to wait for the “ask”.

There is always the “ask” – the point at which the scammer reveals why they have found you, how much they love you and what they ask of you.

One of my life philosophies is ” I know enough to be dangerous” and “Question everything”.

These are the indicators of a Romance Scam Artist:

They may claim to be:  in the Military, a civil engineer, a salesman, an architect, have their own import/export business, etc. They are either divorced or widowed, they usually have a “teenage son” or a child away in New Zealand or Australia in Medical school or the child is being cared for by a nanny. Their parents are no longer alive – so the whole premise of being “all alone in the world”.  Most notable about these scammers is their inability to write full sentences, spell properly, use proper sentence structure/grammar and they will use phrases that are just not part of the North American lexicon. I got the impression they were using a translation service to read my emails and then to respond back. Which should make you think – if they are all so educated, how can they be so illiterate.

They will tell you just a bit about themselves, without giving real specific answers, sometimes coincidentally their birthdays happen to be the same month or year as yours.  When you attempt to engage them in conversation, they take a long time to answer or show no real interest in your interests or hobbies. An example – this gent claimed his birthday was in June ( Gemini ). So I asked him – “what aspects of the Gemini sign do you most relate to?” His reply – “Sagittarius”. Uh what??????? So when I called him on it -he claimed to not have understood the question and thought I meant something to do with his son……

They will have some or very similar hobbies to yours, they will claim “they are new to Instagram” and found your profile. I never give them my full name nor the City where I live – usually just the province/country. I am very vague with my personal profile info – for obvious reasons.  One of my standard questions is to ask them what they know about Canada – most often, they claim to know nothing. Hence why I don’t reveal the city I live in. I usually tell them I am single – not divorced, separated, widowed etc. Within a few weeks of email exchanges, they will start to express their unconditional love for you, how much they miss you, they will send you cute flowers, or images of unicorns (??????), they will ask for your address, so that they can send you flowers or a teddy bear, etc. They will feel cheated if you tell them you don’t have the same feelings – how can you – you don’t even know this person and you haven’t met!!!!.

Now – here comes the ask and the whole reason behind the scam, in the first place…..

This man, claimed to be on a peace keeping mission in Afghanistan – he had been there for a few years and was hoping to retire soon. The first ask was – he wanted me to write to the United Nations and pretend to be his wife, so that he could get vacation time……Well that wasn’t going to happen and I quashed that right away.  The more serious ask, came a few weeks later, where he claimed he was so close to retirement now, ready to come to Canada and be with me,but oh – he has a trunk with millions of dollars in treasures, taken from an assassinated general in Kabul and he needed me to take possession of it and keep it safe for him……. All I had to was send a letter to this courier company in Germany, advising them that I was his Trustee and for them to send it to me…….

Ah – do you see what’s wrong with this request? So I told him – well send me a photo of the trunk, a list of the contents, the value of the contents, the Insurance Certificate, the B13 for Export, the Commercial Invoice and the Packing List. Surely he could understand that the Customs and Border Agents would need all of this info…..  Anyway, this is a condensed version of the Romance Scam Artist – these people all follow a similar pattern and line of questions and histories……

Please, please – don’t fall for them. I know some of you are lonely, you’ve lost your best friend, your spouse, your partner, your children, your parents, etc – but these scum bags prey on your desolation. Rise above them and find comfort with friends and family. Take up a new hobby – find your own joy in being alone. I have and my life is rich, joyful, fun, entertaining and full of treasured moments.

Thank you for reading and for letting me spread the word. Good luck, stay safe, stay healthy.

Joye

As I started this journey, I came to accept that I always need a goal or something to look forward to or work toward. I don’t always meet the goal and have had to push back those goals or dreams on more than one occasion, but that’s okay. Life is a Journey and everyday we can accomplish one small piece towards our goals.

After our East Coast Beaches trip in 2018, I set the goal to increase my lap swimming distance every week by 4 lengths. This goal tied in nicely to my current age, as i wanted to complete 56 lengths by my next vacation in 2019. I can easily swim 1 km or 40 lengths but could I get to 1.5 kms? that would be 60 lengths. I did achieve my personal best in May 2018 of 46 lengths or 1150 metres. Since then I faltered in my weekly swimming commitment and could not pull myself out of my slump..

Where I use to swim 3 times a week, now I was down to 3-4 times a month and every week when I didn’t go, it got harder and harder to stay motivated and to push myself to even swim the one kilometre. Yet, every single time, I stepped into the water, I could feel the energy and was reminded of just why I love to swim – the calmness and the exhilaration at the same time, the feeling in my arm and leg muscles, the quietness of the water as I sliced through it. Not even these feelings were enough to push me into the pool every week.

Lost days, turned into lost weeks, turned into lost months and in May 2019, I was in a car accident. My fault. The damage extensive enough that the Insurance Company wrote off my car. I’ve said before – “Everything happens for a reason – Good or Bad”.

Stay tuned for more on this routine altering event.

Thank you for reading and letting me share. Joye

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It is July 9, 2019 and as I walked from the bus stop this morning on my way to work, I reflected on the last 10 years. As this month marks the 10th anniversary of when I chose to take up swimming as my preferred form of exercise.

I felt it would be appropriate to to publish a new post today on this monumental anniversary – at least its monumental to me……LOL…

Alas, now as I sit here, I am stumped by bloggers writer’s block…..

I am also one month away from my next vacation! On Aug 9 I will already be in Saskatchewan – to swim the final two provincial beaches on my list.

I will be at Lake Manitou in Watrous, Saskatchewan. Now this body of water, is not really designed for swimming, as the mineral content makes it less ideal for swimming/wading but very perfect as a “healing” type of water. The last beach on my list is Devonshire Beach on Slave Lake in Alberta. I will be posting more on this trip as we go along…..

I haven’t been swimming as much as I would have liked over the last few months. I was in a car accident in mid May, my car was written off due to the extent of the damage. So I have been walking and using our local transit and my bicycle to get to and from work and to run any errands. I figured I could use this type of aerobic exercise during the summer and before the snow falls in November, I’ll have a new car. Not a new one- at this stage in my life, I don’t need a new car and I definitely do not want to lock myself into a new car loan. I’m sure I can find a decent used car.

My flights are booked – I got them at a great price!, my train cabin is booked and the rental cars are secured. My hotels are those that are local to Saskatchewan and Alberta. I endeavour to always support the local businesses of the places I travel to.

Again, as in vacations past, I hope to find a friendly soul who will be willing to videotape or film me in the water and not walk away with my IPhone or video camera.

Thank you for being interested and stay tuned for more.

Joye

An important aspect for any woman to consider when travelling alone, is what sort of accommodations are available. For the purpose of this post, I refer to our safety.

We are vulnerable as soon as we get to the airport, or the train station or the cruise ship.

For my first trip, to Manitoba, I had already prepared my itinerary and mapped out all the places I wanted to visit. With this info, I sourced both Bed and Breakfast places and hotels. At a hotel, I would just be one other guest. They wouldn’t care, that I was travelling alone, that I planned to drive from the west part of Manitoba to the east!. There wouldn’t be anyone to ask how my trip was, what places did I visit, did I run into any difficulties,  I couldn’t provide them with an Emergency Contact list, nor could I call the front desk if I ran into a problem whilst driving everywhere. Plus I would have to eat restaurant food 3 times a day.

For these reasons, I chose to stay at two separate Bed and Breakfasts. The first one was located in Morden, Manitoba- “A Wee Bit of Heaven B&B“. The owners are Carolann and Joe Krohn. The 2nd one was located in Selkirk – “Evergreen Gate B&B” owned by Laurel and Rob Sarginson.

I spent 3 days at each home and laughed so much, shared so much and learned so much from both of these couples. Homemade breakfast and coffee with lively conversations first thing in the morning. A care package of water, fruit, snacks to take with me on my day’s journeys. A phone call later in the day, to ask if I would be home for dinner, shall they save me a plate.

While in Morden, I visited Riding Mountain National Park, I drove thru Holland, I visited the Canadian Mint and spent one day in downtown Winnipeg. I drove along the TransCanada Highway – which I had never done before and to realize that one could cross our entire country by this route, is both inspiring and motivating, to say the least.

Once I made my way to Selkirk, I visited the Lower Fort Garry Historic Site, I spent an afternoon in Gimli where I did a tour of the Gimli Glider exhibit. Alas I did not make it to the factory where they produce Crown Royal…… On the day before I headed home, I spent the afternoon at Grand Beach!

You will recall earlier I mentioned that I only had a small phone with limited capabilities. The day I drove from Morden to Selkirk, I had booked a horse trail ride at Miracle Ranch. Well, whilst driving along the Perimeter Highway, I got lost and had no idea how to make my way back. I used up valuable travel time and very valuable phone time, and had to cancel my reservation. By the time I found a local restaurant to get my bearings, it was too late in the afternoon and I had to get Evergreen Gate B&B.

This first vacation was so much fun and the entire experience was made more rewarding and enjoyable due to the graciousness, kindness and courtesy shown to me by both the Krohn’s and the Sarginsons.

Thank you for letting me share my journey.

Come back again. Joye

July 2017

As the day grew closer to my first solo vacation, I would be remiss to not consider how to protect myself while away from home and in a distant province.

There are some realities a single older woman travelling on her own must be cognizant about and must be prepared for.

Copies of my full itinerary were given to my sons, my neighbours, my parents, my sister, the lady taking care of my cats and a few friends. This list included flight # and flight times, train # and schedule, contact info for my accommodations and a draft schedule of all the places I would visit. I purchased a special credit card holder that would protect my cards from any “illegal” tampering. I advised my credit card companies that I would be out of province. I carried an extra copy of my Emergency Contact List with me in my bag and I made sure to identify my ICE (In Case of Emergency) contacts in my little phone. I had my travel insurance taken care and my Will was already in effect. Not that I live by this motto but -“anything can happen to anybody at any time”. It’s a sobering thought, but one we all must consider. My decision to stay at a B&B or hotel also weighed on me, as I planned this trip.

Stay tuned and read my next post about the pros and cons – B&B or Hotel.

For added measure and peace of mind, I borrowed my son’s tablet and ensured I had  strong battery and a good charging system.

While in Manitoba, before I headed out for the day, I posted on Facebook what my plans were. Some of my family and friends “followed me along” and others just sent the proverbial – “Good luck” “Have Fun”, “Can’t wait to see pictures”. I even provided the hostesses of my B&B with a daily itinerary.

Remember, I did not yet own an IPhone, I possessed this tiny pay as you go, flip phone.

I could text, take some very small pictures and I could talk on it. It even had voice mail. No maps, no “Find Friends” feature, no “share my current location”, no Siri, no music, no unlimited data or unlimited minutes across Canada.  NADA!!!! So, of course, I brought along both a digital camera and a video camera……Oh the horror of it all…..

As luck would have it, the morning of my day trip to Grand Beach,  I ran out of phone time!. Sure enough, I could not get thru to Customer Service at the Mobile Service Provider. I was stuck – with no phone………..Driving a rental, in an unfamiliar area and I would not be able to call or contact anyone. This was a daunting experience to say the least. My only recourse, was to take along my tablet, find locations with free WIFI – even though I had no idea how to “turn on WIFI” and hoped I made it thru the day, without incident.

I reached out to my sister on FB Messenger and asked her to contact my kids and let them what had transpired. Cause of course, young men are not sitting reading FB on a warm, beautiful day  in July….. At least not my sons……

Thus in early 2018, before I embarked on my trip to the East Coast of Canada, my eldest was adamant that I finally purchase an IPhone. As he said, “Mummy, I cannot be worried that I won’t be able to reach you or that your Phone time card has run out.” “Just get the IPhone.” So, I did.

More to follow.

Thank you for letting me share. Joye

Grand Beach, Manitoba July 2017

As the year 2016 came to an end, I was determined that come July or August 2017, I would be in Manitoba for the first of the “Ten Best Canadian Beaches” Trip.

My sister and I are exceptional organizers – she as the “Hostess with the Mostess” for dinner parties and Birthday celebrations. Me, I am fabulous at the details for planning events, birthday parties, community events, financial planning, corporate workshops and business meetings. I would be in my element in the planning, execution and enjoyment of my first solo trip.

I requested travel brochures and maps from the provincial Tourism board, I monitored the airline website weekly to check out best dates and prices to fly, I researched pages and pages of B &B’s and local hotels, I considered what type of rental car I would need, I reviewed maps of Manitoba to ascertain how much travelling I would be doing, I sourced online reviews for various activities and places to visit, I checked out the local restaurants. I monitored the Via Rail website for pricing and specials. I even reviewed historical weather data from The Weather Network to determine whether mid July, late July or early August would be the optimum time for a dip in the lake.

I scrimped and saved, worked overtime, opened up a special Beaches Vacation Bank account. Any extra money went into that account religiously.

The only aspect left of my entire trip to sort out, was, once I was in the water and going for a swim, how the heck was I going to get evidence of such an accomplishment?

You see, in 2017 I remained one of the few people in my kids’ circle and my friends circle, that did not possess an IPhone!!!! I still used a small flip phone with the capabilities for voice mail, talk and text. Sure it could capture pictures, but at the size of a postage stamp……..Well then, this would require some further investigation. I would have to get creative in finding someone that I could trust, within 5 minutes of meeting them on a strange beach in Grand Beach, Manitoba…. this person would have to follow me out to the water, stand in the water, listen to me present my “little spiel” about why I was swimming at Grand Beach Manitoba and then they would film me for a few moments. As well, I still had some anxiety about leaving all of my personal belongings on a beach towel, on a strange beach, all by myself in Grand Beach, Manitoba, with a rental car and its keys, tucked in amongst these personal belongings, while I swam in the water, way way out of reach of my stuff. A problem just waiting to be solved……

Stay tuned.

Thank you for letting me share my journey and my story. Joye

I love words – I love to learn new words and I like being able to use new words in my everyday conversations. My other passion – reading – always presents a new word for me to learn and use…. I so enjoy teaching these words to my sons and when, lo and behold, they use the word in a sentence, I’m flabbergasted…..

On the flip side, I abhor people that use words in the wrong context, spell words incorrectly or default to all of these clichéd words, expressions- a real pet peeve for me, especially in the 21st Century with all these technology, literally, at our fingertips….

I will never use the word “like” as a filler word in a sentence or describe a situation, or happening as being “crazy” – surely one can find the proper descriptive word to use in that context.

I love to spell words too. I have the unique ability ( only in my mind of course) that I spell as I speak. In any of my day to day conversations, I will see a screen “in my head” of the words coming out of the my mouth and I’m spelling them as I go along……

For years, when my sons were younger, I would boast that I could spell “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” and they would always come back with the same retort – but mom, no one else knows, so how can we be sure you are right?

Anyway, I’m telling you all this because I hope to use this passion for words and writing  and embark on a new career – albeit maybe a part time one.

The specifics as to how I’m going to generate any real sustainable income, hasn’t been formulated or worked out just yet… The ideas are there. As I move forward with my re-commitment to blog, I hope the Laws of Attraction will put me in front of the audience or the person that can help me on this journey.

Right now, this media is for me to write, share, inspire, teach, encourage those who are interested in hearing about my story and my journey. I am still quite a novice blogger and am learning as I go along.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share. Joye

Here we are – it is Autumn 2015, the Pan Am Games are done and all of the volunteers have been invited to a Volunteer Appreciation Night – food aplenty, desserts and Raffle prizes. I’m excited to reconnect with those Fleet Drivers that I spent time with in the summer.

We gather under the big white tent once again. I got there just before they ran out of cake!. A raffle is being held and my name goes into the box……Prize after prize is drawn. I’m taken aback by the generosity of those that made these prizes available to us.

I Won!!!!! – $100 Gift Certificate for Via Rail to be used within the year!!!! How ironic is that? I want to travel by train for my vacations and now I have $100 to spend!!! I am SO GRATEFUL. I will use it for my 2016 vacation plan…..

Not so fast………

Early in January 2016, whilst driving home from the pool, late at night, my car started to shut down and the battery would cut out…….Appt at the dealership – $750 repair bill. OUCH…..

January 16 – the anniversary 2 years ago, when we lost our uncle, my dad’s favourite brother.

February 2016- my best friend and her husband lost his son to a brain aneurysm.

I decided then to use my Via Rail $100 Gift Certificate towards the trip for a spa day at Ste. Anne’s Spa in Cobourg Ontario.  I needed a day of pampering and indulgence.

So with money rec’d from my ex boyfriend the year before, I planned my day.

In February, it’s cold, dreary, lots of snow and driving is such a hassle. I would do the entire day using just transit… Hassle free travel, snow capped trees and landscape, kind and pleasant staff, serene surroundings, hot tubs, cool mist, warm terry cloth robe, body pampering treatments, chocolate tea and lovely desserts…..The day was the therapy and self care I needed.

Early March, I had given up on some of my other charitable work. I wanted to run for the Board of Directors for the Co-op where I live. Well, I was nominated, I accepted, I voted, I was elected.. A two year term – monthly meetings, additional meetings, letter writing, committees, etc.

Well then!! The Housing Agency holds an Annual Meeting in June and I was asked to attend. A week away from work and home – I had to use my vacation time for this trip.

Alas, no more vaca time for a trip to Manitoba……..

That’s the thing about setting goals and working towards them – sometimes life happens and you have to re-assess, re-plan and most importantly; re-commit to the goal.

Summer 2017 – trip to Manitoba will happen and NOTHING WILL STAND IN MY WAY.

Stay tuned, won’t you? Thank you for reading, thank you for letting me share my journey.

One must always have a goal or a dream to look forward to.

Joye

Every Canadian knows you cannot start a trip without your morning Tim’s.

The year is late 2014/early 2015 and I’m contemplating whether I can save enough money to travel to my first provincial beach that summer – Grand Beach in Manitoba. My initial budget estimate is $3000. I work full time, but like most of us, live paycheck to paycheck and put money aside from overtime, birthday/Christmas funds etc.

The details and time line are a little sketchy at this point, however sometime in March or April, I rec’d an email invite to become a volunteer with the 2015 Pan American Games being held in Ontario Canada, that summer. Wow – what an honour it would be, to be chosen!

For those of you that know me personally, my life is not complete/balanced, if I’m not engaging in some sort of volunteering activity. So as quickly as I could, I filled out the application and sent it in. I waited, waited and waited. Then while out with my family for my birthday, I got the email that confirmed I had been selected to be a Pan Am Volunteer!  I was ecstatic!

The games were held over a two week period in early to mid – July. Well, there went my plans to take a vacation that summer. There was a hurdle though, no pun intended. How was I going to ask for the time off from work? My shifts would be sporadic over the workdays and weekends. Fortunately for me, my boss was very understanding and gave me free rein to take the time off. He only asked that any time off exceeding my banked vacation time, be “paid back” once the Games were complete. No problem.

This experience was one of the most fun, rewarding and interesting times I’ve had as a volunteer. There is an adage that many of us that volunteer and give back to the community have learned. It’s this – you will very seldom meet a miserable volunteer, as they are doing something they love and are not being paid for it. They want to be there and welcome the opportunity to give back.

Sadly though too, that year, I ended a 6 year relationship with my boyfriend. On the day that was the 6th anniversary of the first day we met, I was working my Pan Am shift.

An extraordinary situation happened while I was on shift. He of course, was one of the first people I wanted to share it with. Alas, I waited all day for him to contact me and wish me “happy anniversary” and for me to share with him, this incredible experience.

Well he forgot, never even called me back. I was devastated and chose to end the relationship later that year.

Okay – summer of 2016 – Manitoba- here I come!! Let the planning and saving begin…..

Ah no, 2016 ended up not being the year I travelled to Manitoba…..stay tuned.

Thank you for letting me share. Please join me again. Joye

I’m a one piece swim suit type of gal. Heck I’m in my fifties – my life’s goals, attitudes, philosophies, morals and values are not determined by the choice of swim suit I wear. I wear the one that will give me the most momentum and fluid motion while in the water…..

My two piece black swim suit when I was 17 was acceptable, but not now……My mother, who never worked out a day in her life, save the short spurts of bike riding to the local mall, thought it was perfectly ok to wear a two piece bikini whilst on vacation with us in Wasaga Beach. She was in her early 60’s back then…..She was a character.

I’m reminded of a vacation to Jamaica in the early 1980’s, with 5 friends in tow. We happened to be staying at a resort that was next to a  “swim suit option” section of the beach. Well, you can just imagine my disgust when I observed two VERY ELDERLY swimmers emerging from the ocean – BUTT NAKED…. Yikes….Lettin it all hang out and hang down.

So, back in 2009 I had just a regular type of suit, you know the ones – polyester, $20 from the local store, lots of extra “frills”. Well after a few weeks of swimming in chlorine 3x a week, my suit was dragging me down and the material stretched out. I felt as if I was swimming against a major undertow – lots of drag….I bought another one and again within a few months, the same thing. What a waste of money – there has got to be a better brand of suit for those of us in the water all the time.

In 2010 – I discovered the TYR brand of swim suit- Yippee!!! – good support for the “girls”, tight to the body, material that is chlorine resistant and made from a material that won’t stretch out and cause me to “hang out”!. I discovered a local store and bought my first suit – dark blue with pink piping. What a difference that suit style made to my technique, speed and endurance. The suit just had to be rinsed in cold water and hung upside down to dry. True to the brand, it never stretched, nor faded in colour.

She has just been retired from active swim duty – I bought a new one in early August – same brand, bright patterned green blocks!! Look out – here I come! Much more suited to my extroverted personality. This suit was bought from “Splashables” – a local business in my area. The staff are very pleasant, knowledgeable, courteous and take the time to help their customers find exactly the style they need.

I too don’t wear swimming goggles, nor wear a cap on my head. My hair is short enough – you can’t be a serious swimmer and be concerned about getting your hair out. I do however, wear ear plugs – they are a must. A swimmer’s ear infection is 10 x worse than just your run of the mill ear infection. I’ve had two swimmer’s ear infections and having to get those drops in your ear drum is a pain in the ******.

That’s all for today. Join me again will you? Thank you for reading and for letting me share. Joye