Single Older Woman – Life’s Passion – my swimmer’s life – starts/stops, the Pandemic, injuries

Nov 2022

After contracting Covid-19 a couple of weeks ago, I was able to get back into the pool this past weekend. This got me thinking about all the starts and stops in my life as a swimmer. As I shared in a few of my earlier posts, I took up swimming as a regular activity in the summer of 2009.

However, I was not an avid, regular swimmer during that time. I lost my f/t job in October of that year and did not start a new f/t job until March 2010. My income decreased substantially and with 2 kids at home, money was tight. They were both active in sports and I did alot of volunteering in the community. For the next few years, I may or may not have done much swimming because of money and time constraints. Then in 2013/ 2014, I found that article in Readers Digest about the “10 Best Beaches in Canada” and my life did an about face.

I took up swimming at our local community centre pools, I got a gym membership with GoodLife Fitness which gave me access to their pool, 24/7. I had no qualms about going for a swim at night – the thrill of turning on the seat warmers in my car, on a cool/chilly fall/winter night and then coming home to a glass of red wine, motivated me enough to go back again and again and again……I kept up this routine for a couple of years. On days when I didn’t swim, I would ride my bike to work.

When my mom passed away in Dec 2017, I didn’t see a pool until March of 2018. I then took on a part time job, in the evenings, working “Skipthedishes”. That commitment cut into my swim times. I kept at this job for about 8-9 months, as I discovered, sitting for 3-4 hours in my car, was not so beneficial to my health, especially after sitting all day at work, in front of a computer.

In early 2019, I had a car accident, my car was totaled and I spent the summer months, busing, biking and walking to/fro work, as well as doing all my errands this way too. In November 2019, I bought another car and shortly thereafter resumed my nightly and weekend swim routine.

Fast forward, March 2020 – the world stops and we are all forced to stay home. I knew I needed another outlet for exercise and stress relief, with all the pools closed. So, I found all the local parks in our area to visit – I would venture out either right after work or go for a stroll on a weekend afternoon. It was during this time too, that I found those great Ontario Parks and Ontario Waterfalls books. The pools opened up again in August but the lanes were restricted to one person per lane and you had to book your time slot in advance. At least, I could swim at my leisure without the fear of hitting someone in the head…..

This stayed part of my routine until about December 2021. In September, I had fallen off of a picnic table, while visiting a park with a friend of mine. The ache and discomfort in my leg, did not concern me so much. Until December, when I walked into a chair and strained my right MCL…..What a klutz I was……

I ended up in physio for 2 months and did not feel ready yet to swim laps.

It would be another couple of months until I felt strong enough to get back in the water. In the meantime, I walked, and I walked and I walked some more. My feet ached, but I had to strengthen the joint and ligaments in my knee.

Wherein, I use to relish in those evening swims, the drive home with the seat warmers and the glass of wine before bed, I find myself scared now to go out at night. I’m afraid to leave my house, once I get home. There are too many bad drivers on the road, wet/snowy road conditions to contend with, strangers out and about, empty parking lots to walk across, etc. As walking became another activity I could enjoy, I did more of those in the evenings. I can be at a local park within 15 minutes from work. I can complete a quick stroll of 30 minutes and then be home before it gets dark. For the time being, my swims are on Sat or Sunday afternoons.

My dad is 89 and still walks almost every day. He worked in construction his entire life and even before he retired, he would walk an hour to an hour and a half every day. Walking is in our genes and in our make up. If he can keep going at 89, I can certainly keep going at 59…. and beyond!

As I look to my 60th birthday next year, I hope my love for swimming will not diminish. I plan to swim well into my 60’s and into my 70’s. I cannot imagine a life without the water and the feeling of pure joy, being in it, gives me. This is my peace, my zen, my comfort, my heaven and my tranquility.

Thank you for reading and letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Life’s Passion – Canadian Bodies of Water – I’ve swam a few

Aug 2021

With a few vacation days still available this summer, I took a rare Monday off from work and decided to make the trip out to Darlington Provincial Park, one of the #ontarioparks on my list of locations to visit.

Once I settled in on the beach and had a few snacks, I headed into the water. There were only a few families out and about and I could swim freely at my leisure.

As I blissfully floated on the calm waters, looking up to the blue cloudless sky and listening quietly to the familiar sounds of kids frolicking about, it occurred to me, quite surprisingly that this was MY FIRST SWIM IN Lake Ontario! How is that possible? I’ve been swimming my entire life and yet we never had occasion to swim in Lake Ontario.

So I thought back to all those bodies of water, I too frolicked in – with family, parents, children, friends, bff’s, boyfriends, cousins, nieces and nephews.

I took stock then and there to recollect all the waters I’ve swam in:

From a young age and into my teens, we were fortunate to have an above ground pool at home. For vacations, our parents took us camping at #MusselmansLake or a cottage stay near #WasagaBeach on Georgian Bay.

With kids of my own, they too enjoyed the waters of Wasaga Beach. We didn’t swim at Cherry Beach or Ashbridge’s Bay, but instead would drive 2 hours north to Georgian Bay.

In 2017, I traveled to Manitoba and swam at #GrandBeach, on Lake Winnipeg, in 2018, I (we) traveled to New Brunswick and I swam at #ParleeBeach, on the #Northumberlandstrait, as well as #Singingsands in PEI, also on the Northumberland Strait.

In 2019, I swam at #LakeManitou in Saskatchewan and #Devonshirebeach, Lesser Slave Lake in Alberta.

In 2021, I swam at #SaubleBeach on Lake Huron and I dipped my toes into Lake Erie while at Point Pelee National Park.

Bodies of water left to conquer – Martinique Beach in the Atlantic Ocean, in Nova Scotia, Sandbanks Beach in Prince Edward County (also on Lake Ontario), Singing Sands Beach, in Tobermory, on Lake Huron and Long Beach, on the Pacific Rim of the Pacific Ocean in British Columbia.

Stay tuned for a future post about my 2022 vacation to the East Coast.

Thank you for reading and letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Cdn vacation- East Coast 2022 travel planning – Part 1

March 2022

With the River Cruise booked and budgeted for, it was time to source hotels in Nova Scotia and PEI, as well rental cars, activities, excursions, train schedules and ferry crossings.

First I booked my hotel in Truro, NS – the #WillowBendMotel. I had seen their ad previously and knew this was the hotel to stay at. Locally owned and operated, 10 min taxi ride from the Via Rail station and 10 minutes away from the local rental car agency. Plus they offered a complimentary breakfast as well as an outdoor heated pool just steps from my room.

For my stay in PEI – I decided I would visit only the Eastern portion of PEI – Eastern Coastal shore. Again, I found a locally owned and family operated motel in #Souris, #Lighthouseandbeachmotel. Perfect! Their nightly rates were reasonable and they also offered complimentary breakfast as well as a beach a 5 minute drive away.

Next- book the Ferry trips from Caribou,NS to Wood Islands, PEI and then back again.

I had called #Northumberlandferries in March and was told to check back in June, as Transport Canada had not yet approved their sailing schedule. Oh dear! I worried – making these bookings a month before my travel dates. What if they didn’t have any more space on the ferry for me and my car?? I would discover later, these ferries are MASSIVE!! You’ll see for yourself in my later posts about the mammoth “ships”.

Next – book my train travel – I planned to book in late April or early May to optimize any discounts and savings offered. Keeping in mind, all the train trips had to connect with one another- Toronto Union Station to Montreal Central Station in economy class, then disembark and wait for the next leg – Montreal to Truro, NS in a sleeper car.

However, already in early March, cabins were already being booked and I no longer had too many options available to me. Keeping in mind, I had to plan all this travel around my booked river cruise sailing dates – depart from Ottawa on Thursday July 28 at 5 pm with arrival in Kingston on Tues. Aug. 3.

So, by mid March, all the train travel was booked. There were no single person staterooms available, so I had to book a cabin for 2. At least I would have some more space and an extra bunk to keep my personal items on/under.

The return train trip was now also booked – departure from Truro, NS on Wed July 27 and arrive (just in time) in Ottawa on Thurs. July 28 at 2:30 pm. Perfect!

Stay tuned, as I share how I went about planning and sourcing all the places I wanted to see and visit, including Martinique Beach in Nova Scotia.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Life’s Experiences – Doing it all – Alone

Nov 2022

This post is being dedicated to all those women and men that find themselves navigating life and all of its joys and challenges, alone.

Whether you are alone by choice, by death, divorce, distance, estrangement, location, work etc., I honour you and hope you will laugh and smile with me as I share some of my experiences about being that single older woman.

Most of my family and my life long friends are couples – with children, without children, with grand babies, with pets, etc.

Sure there are a lot of advantages to being by myself – I decide what to eat, what car to drive, what vacation destination to plan, where to put retirement savings, where to live, what animal to have as a pet, whether I read a novel for an entire weekend or clean and organize to my hearts content, I decide to keep my hair short or grow it long, whether I stay home on a cold blustery weekend or venture out to a local park for fresh air and exercise, whether I drink red or white wine, what shows/movies to watch, which sports team to cheer for, etc. I don’t have to share the bathroom or make space in my bed, I get all the covers to myself. I get the closet all to myself. I don’t have to work around someone else’s weekend plans if I decide to stay over at a friends place.

Now – the inconveniences: I work full time Monday to Friday, I come home to prepare and cook a meal, look after the cats, clean up. I alone cut the grass, I haul the tires out of the basement twice a year for regular car maintenance, I fix all the little things in and around the house, I do the prepping and the painting myself, I alone clean the bathroom, the kitchen, the bedrooms, dust the furniture and maintain the backyard. I do all the groceries, the laundry, the errands, etc. Add to this long list, the care and support of elderly parent (s) and the time spent with them on a weekend or weeknight.

When I have a bad day, I don’t have someone to let off steam to or someone to give me a hug and reassure me everything will be okay. When I can’t handle it any more, no one hears my cries or dries my tears. I’m estranged from my children and have not spent Mother’s Day, my birthday, Thanksgiving or Christmas with them for the last few years. This breaks my heart. We use to do all these fun activities before they became adults and charted their own course.

I have to keep working cause I’m the only one bringing in a pay cheque. I don’t entertain cause my furniture is old and worn and my living space is not set up for guests or their comfort.

I developed a habit sometime last year wherein I message my sister every morning, just to let her know that I woke up. Another single elderly friend of mine, does the same thing with her sister.

I have to consider my safety when out on the roads, in inclement weather. If something happens to me or I get into an accident, I have no one to call. What if my car is damaged beyond repair, how will I get around? Can I afford another car? I carry in my car, a copy of my ICE Contact List – just in case, so that the emergency personnel know who to call. Sure I have that list in my phone, but it doesn’t hurt to have a hard copy.

All of this came to light, last week, when I came down with a cold early on Monday morning. I was scared and anxious, because I did not feel well at all. I had to call a neighbour to assist me. Fortunately, I live in a community where I know everyone and they know me. A few of them have keys to my unit. I was afraid, that if I fainted or fell down the stairs, who would know. To my dismay, not a few days later did I discover, I had COVID and I had put this kind woman at risk because she helped me…..I was very upset, her father is elderly and not in the best of health.

I had to self isolate at home from work, couldn’t do groceries, run my errands, maintain my car, etc etc etc. The first few days of COVID I had little energy and really did not want to expose myself to anyone, even though I continued to wear my mask.

To all of you with single friends, give them a call, check in with them, offer to lend a hand. Maybe if they decline a dinner invitation, it could be they don’t have gas money or extra money for a restaurant meal or they have a major bill coming up that they’re struggling to find the funds for.

I recognize too there are quite a few singles that are well to do, have good jobs, make a decent salary, and may not have these financial worries. To you – good for you! Well done.

To the others, keep up your spirits and have faith and pray.

Thank you for reading and letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Life Experiences – Friends and being grateful

Nov 2022

I worked for a major international pharmaceutical company in the early 2000’s. I developed a friendship with one of the Territory Managers, who resided in British Columbia. My contract was terminated in Oct 2008 and I was let go. She and I maintained contact over the years and finally in Oct 2018 ( 10 years to the day since we last saw each other), I flew to Vancouver to visit her for the weekend.

Fast forward to Sept 2021 and her work would bring her to Ontario for a weekend. She of course, stayed at my place and we had one day to go for walks, eat, chit chat and catch up. At that time, she was dealing with a serious health issue and feeling quite despondent over her future. She was also alone, albeit a mom and grandma, but still alone. She had traveled to many places around the world and kept active, with her kids, her grand babies, her hiking excursions and exploring her beautiful province.

I was dismayed to hear her admit, that she felt like she had nothing to get up for in the morning and nothing to be excited about….This upset me very much. I could not handle knowing she had this “pain”.

This got me thinking – I feel blessed every day and I wondered where these feelings for me come from……

I pray every day and give thanks for all of the blessings in my life – my parents, my children, my siblings, my cats, my warm bed, my roof over my head, my good health, my pool swims, my job, my car, food and water, clothes and shoes, money in the bank, money to pay my bills, Canada, beaches, lakes, oceans, trains, waterfalls, forests, birds, animals, open green spaces, cake, freedom, democracy, diversity, inclusion, religion, govt, police/nurses/fireman/doctors, etc.

When my mother passed away quite unexpectedly in Dec. 2017, I could either wallow in sadness or I could be happy. Of course, not that I was happy that my mother passed away, but I did not want to be that person who carried the weight of losing their mom suddenly. So I chose to be “Excellent” and in those early days of 2018, I would explain why I was “Excellent”. How you feel and how you view your world should not be based on any current circumstance, ie, my mother died from stage 4 colon cancer within 3 weeks of her initial diagnosis… but instead on how grateful and blessed you feel overall.

A life philosophy…..

Would you much rather hang around someone who is always mad, sad, maudlin, irritated, pessimistic or someone that exudes joy, happiness, contentment, peace, excitement, love, compassion. I chose to be the happy one – the one to share a moment of joy with every one, every day.

For me, this makes my world more joyful and more positive.

I wake up and look forward to a good cup of coffee, a glass of wine in the evenings, how my body feels after an invigorating swim, a walk in the park, spending time with my kids, spending time with my bff’s, seeing squirrels, birds, rabbits, dogs, beautiful flowers, a blue sky, watching and listening to the rain fall from underneath my backyard gazebo, visiting with family, starting a novel and finishing that novel, doing a craft and sharing it with others, planning my next vacation, free groceries, etc. I’m sure you get the point.

My vacation plans for 2023 include a trip to BC – and I hope to spend a few days again with this beautiful soul.

Acknowledgement – my dear dear friend and fellow June birthday girl – you know who you are and I thank you for your friendship and for being in my life…. this post is dedicated to you……Be well and be loved.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Life’s Passion – Living it – Alone

Nov 2022

Now:

I am mother/momma to my 2 “twenty-something” children, I was the eldest daughter to my parents, but now one of 2 primary care supporters to my dad, I am my sister’s big sister, I am a friend to women in my life from my teenage years, I’m like a daughter to a beautiful friend whose 18 years my senior, I was a wife, I was the woman so proud to boast she could spell -“supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”…..lol…, I was the novel enthusiast who could read over 330 words a minute and finish a book in about a day and a half.

Then:

I was the volunteer that delivered books from the library to those in our community that did not have access to a car or were infirm, I’m a cat mom to Dakota and Caissie, I was the volunteer at the Women’s Abuse shelter, I was the feline foster parent, I was the survivor of domestic and verbal abuse while I was a wife and then again at the hands of my eldest, when they lived with me.

I was a volunteer for several organizations in Mississauga, I sang in the church choir, I was the one that organized bff weekends, bff spa days and bff get togethers, I was the one that would drive you to work and pick you up again, when you asked, I was the one that would be there with my car to help you move, yet when I moved from a 4 bdrm townhouse to a 2 bdrm, within my co-op community, I did it by myself with two very young children.

I was the one, when a car accident left me without a vehicle for almost 6 months, that did everything by myself.

I was the one that loved to do crafty things, paint crafty things, make crafty things for my backyard oasis, I was the one that made these same crafts and shared them with family, with my neighbours and my co-workers.

I was the one that re-discovered my love for swimming, in my late forties and now as I approach my sixties, I miss my evening swims and being able to share that experience with others. I’m afraid to go out at night for a swim, cause of my worry that some tragedy will befall me or that I will drown.

I miss those evening swims – I miss getting into my car, turning on the seat warmers and having a glass of merlot, when I got home and then going to bed.

I was the one that really was not a nature enthusiast, but now, all my FB posts highlight ALL THE PARKS AND WATERFALLS I visit.

I was the woman that found a list of the 10 Best Beaches in Canada and I developed a goal poster and plan to conquer them all – well not the Yukon nor the Northwest Territories.

I write a blog and people from around the world read this little blog about a single older woman from a major city, in a large province in the Country of Canada, whose living her Life’s Passion – alone.

And, I’m all alone and struggling every day to find meaning and purpose in my life. Who will I be, when my dad is gone, when my kids no longer speak to me, when I’ve swam at all the beaches, and read all the books????

When friends and family delight in their children and grandchildren, where will I be? I will be alone.

The same message has been shared over and over again during the pandemic – ” we are all in this together”, “check on your friends and family and those that live alone”. Sometimes I feel like that request has become a cliche, the nice thing to say, it sounds good on the radio and on the advertising billboards.

When one is alone, one has so many other anxieties and fears they must face – what happens if something happens to me? when I get sick, when I fall, if I’m in a car accident, when I’m away on vacation? Who will know to contact my children, my dad, my siblings?

What will be my legacy? I pray everyday – God, what is my purpose, what is my talent, my gift- that you want me to share? Is this forum my gift to the world? to tell stories? to share my life experiences? to motivate and encourage others? to look after cats? to read to others? I don’t know.

Right now this is my forum to share my stories, my funny experiences, my AHA moments, my encouraging anecdotes, my single person life experiences. Periodically – my gut wrenching truths, my sadness, my fears.

I endeavour to always be a light, my glass is always half full, yet sometimes, I have to get things off my chest. I have no one to share these truths with. I am alone.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Life’s Passion – Vacation Ideas 2022, River Cruising

Oct 2021

This is about the time of year when I start to consider and budget for, my vacation for the following year.

Initially the plan was to do another road trip through Ontario, so that I can complete my last 2 Ontario beaches – Singing Sands in Tobermory and Sandbanks in Prince Edward County. This would allow me additional vacation time to do my European River Cruise in the Fall 2022, taking me from Amsterdam to Basel, Switzerland and then the train north back to the Netherlands.

Well, one weekend, sitting at home, I’m flipping through my current CAA Membership Magazine and I come across an ad for the St. Lawrence River Cruise Line. This is a Canadian River Cruise that sails along the mighty and popular St. Lawrence River, from Kingston to points east – Montreal, Ottawa, Quebec.

Home

The idea began to form – maybe I should consider doing a cruise like this, on Canadian waters and close to home, before I embark on a river cruise in Europe. I’ve never been on a river cruise, save for the ferry that took us to Centre Island in Toronto when I was a teenager.

Now the idea for a new vacation adventure, started to take shape. I would take the VIA rail train from Toronto Union Station to Kingston ON. I would sail from Kingston to Quebec City and then get on the train for my journey to Truro, NS. Then a week or so in NS and PEI and return home on the train.

Perfect! All train, boat, ferry and rental car – no flying involved.

Fast forward to mid November 2021 and I’m having lunch at work. I decide to call St. Lawrence Cruise Lines and inquire about availability for July 2022. I was shocked to learn they were almost booked for all of July – already! Quick – I asked the agent – what dates and routes were still available? She advised only Ottawa to Kingston from July 28 – Aug. 3. Well then, right away I gave her all my contact info and advised a cheque would be in the mail for the $350 deposit.

This would change my travel plans slightly but I knew I could make it work…..

This vacation would also stretch my budget quite extensively and the 2 1/2 weeks away from my felines, would take their toll – both on me, my neighbours and the cats…

Stay tuned.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Canadian Beaches-Sauble Beach – Beach #6- Accomplished

July 2021

For all of us that call this part of Ontario home with Georgian Bay to the north, London to the west, Kingston to the East and Niagara Falls to the south, we are very blessed to have Lake Ontario, Lake Huron. Lake Erie in our backyard.

We also have 4 of the Best Beaches of Canada on our doorstep and a 2 hour drive from home. There is Sandbanks in Prince Edward County, Wasaga Beach in Collingwood, Singing Sands Beach in Tobermory and Sauble Beach in Owen Sound.

As a warm slightly overcast day as today is, the roads leading to Sauble Beach were packed with families, teenagers, friends etc all descending on Lake Huron to enjoy this beach and all of its amenities. We all were just “itching” to get back to normal. I was one of those people too. As I scoured the roads along the beach path, looking for a place to park, I had some concerns and anxiety that maybe I would not be able to accomplish my goal. Everyone in Ontario was here, it seemed!

Finally, I found a spot on the road. I parked my car and purchased a 2 hour digital parking pass. I grabbed my bag and searched out a place to change into my swim suit.

I had to pack light, as there would be no one watching my things while I went into the water. So only the bare minimum…..

I spread out my beach towel and perused the sandy beach looking for someone or a family, that I could approach to help me with my task.

I found such a family and after a few minutes chatting, the mom and I headed out to the water.

My phone was safely stored inside a waterproof phone case and we got ready to film…..In I went!

After a few circles and dunks underneath and some waves out to my photographer, I walked out of the water. Another beach done! I thanked my volunteer and wished her and her family a pleasant day.

I changed back into my driving clothes and gave up my parking spot to someone else eager to enjoy Sauble Beach for the day.

Next stop – Sauble Falls another #ontarioparks location.

I headed home on Tuesday July 20. Once I reached home, I checked the odometer and was surprised to see that I had driven over 1450 kilometres on this 6 day road trip through southwestern Ontario.

Thank you for reading and letting me share.

Stay tuned as I plan for 2 more Canadian beaches in 2022 – Singing Sands in Tobermory and Sandbanks in Prince Edward County.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Ont Road Trips – Outings #12- Harrison Park, Inglis Falls

July 19, 2021

My final full day in Owen Sound and it would be filled with park exploration, water fall sights and lake swims.

As has been my habit for most of my life, I was awake and up early. This would bode well for me today, as I had lots to do – lots of driving, lots of walking, sightseeing and swimming to get done.

I packed some nutritous snacks, stopped in at Tim’s for my favourite breakfast sandwich and coffee and headed to Harrison Park – a recommendation from the owner of my motel.

I discovered within this park a dedication to the Black History of Owen Sound:

After short snack break, I left the park and made my way to #InglisFalls, one of the waterfalls from #waterfallsofontario.

Now time to head to Sauble Beach, to conquer another location from my list!

Lo and behold, as I drove along the road to the Beach, look what I found! I had to stop in of course…..

I bought a coffee and a sandwich, some dutch licorice and mentos, and made my way to Sauble Beach.

Stay tuned.

Thank you for reading and letting me share.

Joye

Single Older Woman – Ontario Road Trips, Outings #11- July 2021

July 18, 2021

This is travel day to Owen Sound.

After stopping in to see the Liberation Monument, in Goderich, I made my way south back towards Grand Bend. I was blessed with another bright, sunny and blue sky day and wanted to soak in as much of the warm weather as possible. I stopped into a small town bakery near Clinton, then drove to the Village of Bayfield for a stroll along their picturesque Main Street.

Back on the road and an opportunity to add another #ontariopark to my list of accomplished sites – this one #macgregorpointprovpark.

The park was very busy – lots of families gathered on the beach. I couldn’t find a quiet spot for myself, so I did a quick walk and headed back to my car.

I stopped into a local tim’s for coffee and some lunch, then onto destination #owensound and my hotel #innon6th.

A quick dip was just what I needed. No one else in the water and I could revel in the quietness and the sounds all around.

Tomorrow I swim at Sauble Beach! Another one off my list.

Stay tuned.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share.

Joye