Single Older Woman – Living Life Passionately

It has been almost 6 months since I put thoughts to blog pages. This entry is about having the courage to continue and the resolve to live your life and meet your goals.

The weekend of Dec.2/3 saw my brother and I take our 78 year old mom to the hospital. She was just not looking well. After much arguing and fighting between the three of us, she relented and we got her onto a stretcher and into an ambulance. Well along with our youngest sibling, the three of us tagged teamed to give as much support and love to our mom, as we could….I spent most of my work days on the phone with various social agencies, social workers, doctors, care givers, etc while my brother and sister spent time at the hospital.

One of the most difficult moments came when we realized our mother just did not/could not comprehend that she had stage 4 colon cancer and blood clots…So, using an analogy that I knew she would understand, I explained how her cancer was growing all over her body, just like mould does on old bread. Eventually, you cannot just pick a small piece off and throw it away – you have to throw out the whole loaf.

Our mother received compassionate, gentle and kind care from the nurses and palliative team – she passed away on Dec. 29, 2017.

For me, I have grieved, but not as much as the next person. My siblings and I did not have the  most loving and easy relationship with our mom. The worst part for me was sharing her death with my two sons…. They were both devastated. My older son went out the next day and had a tattoo done on his wrist, which records the last day he saw her.

It has taken me the last couple of months to get back into my routine. For those that I talk to periodically/regularly, when they ask how I am, I tell them – I am embracing my new reality – my mother passed away from colon cancer last year.

I don’t want to waste another precious minute of life….. I have so much I still want to accomplish. I underwent my first colonoscopy – a clean bill of health. But I am not taking that for granted. I’ve lost 7 lbs since the beginning of December. Now I want to lose more cause I’m doing all the right things and not because I just had no energy or interest in eating.

Tonite I will head back to the pool – I’ve only been three times since mid – January and have only been at the gym twice. Not a moment to waste. Like the ad for GoodLife Fitness says – Live for it! That will be my new motto.

We shall talk soon! Thank you for reading. Joye

Hello, All

Thank you all for being interested in my blog. I  have had quite a few other life and work commitments since my vacation and have not had a chance to chronicle my journey for your reading pleasure.

You can expect to see new entries over the next couple of weeks.

It is Thanksgiving in Canada and I feel so truly blessed and grateful for the abundance in my life:). I look forward to sharing some of them with you and hope I will inspire you to give thanks every day.

Ciao, Joye

This entry is all about my financial challenges since 2000 when I became a single parent.

While I had joint custody of my kids, I worked for several temp agencies, which allowed me the flexibility to be home right after school ended.  As the years progressed from 2001 to 2007, I slowly earned more money and the temp jobs turned into full time positions with medical benefits and paid vacations. I’ll use a bullet list to illustrate the rise and fall of my annual incomes and the major expenses during those times:

• Dec 2005 – paid off my 1998 Hyundai Accent and made a promise to my kids I will take them to Walt Disney World in January 2007.
• April 2006 – temp position became a full time salaried position,
• Planned the budget and started a savings Account for our Disney vacation,
• January 2007 – eight day vacation in Orlando, Florida,
• May 2007 – bought my first new car – a 2007 Kia Rio 5 with manual transmission!
• May 2007 – Car Loan payments deferred for one year!
• May 2008 – loan payments started @$500/month,
• October 2008 – full time position eliminated – out of work!
• November 2008 – new job but a drop in salary of approx. $1000/monthly,
• February 2010 – quit the job
• March 2010 – new full time job, closer to home, and another drop in salary of approx $700/month,
• October 2010 – traded in 2007 Kia Rio5 for a 2011 Kia Rio 5 – payments dropped down to $340/month
• August 2011 – received a lifeline Loan to help me back on my feet and in July 2016, it was paid off,
• July 2017 – current income is now at about $2500/monthly. I have full benefits and three weeks vacation.
• August 2017 – Car Loan paid off- 5 months ahead of schedule.

During the past year, I worked diligently to find creative and interesting ways to both save money and make money. As you’ve read, I am not a top earner and I don’t have any degrees or letters behind my name:). I work as an Admin Assistant/AR Clerk and CSR in a small Canadian medical company.

For those of you that think it is not possible to pay off your debt, or put money aside, or plan a vacation – I’m telling you, IT CAN BE DONE!

If you’ll join me again, I will share some of my interesting strategies.

Thank you for reading. Joye

Just a short update.

Since returning from vacation, I’ve struggled with the exhausting symptoms of a cold and that has kept me from the pool. Well I was in the pool today. The water felt calming and soothing, my muscles pulsed with each stroke. I swam just a kilometre today, and it was a slow swim – it took me 41 minutes. My passion for this exhilarating activity was renewed and a sense of purpose overcame me. The quiet, calm of the water, the breaths of air being expelled, watching my arms push back the water and feeling the strength in my legs as I kicked thru each length of the pool.

Tomorrow I will head to the gym to work all the other muscles, under the guidance of my son, my Personal Trainer. I’ll be back in the pool next week. My pool swimming goal is to complete 1250 metres at each swim.

Thank you for reading, Joye.

For those of you that have viewed and visited my blog – Thank you, for taking the time to read my story. I am encouraged, inspired and motivated to write more because of you.

My hope is to do the same – to encourage you, motivate you, inspire you and propel you to live your life and share your story. This blog will always be positive, encouraging and hopeful – it is how I live my life. I have had many challenges and by the Grace of God, my health continues to be Excellent. Every choice I make is a choice I make – both good and bad. Some have had consequences, most have benefitted me:). Life is about having the  freedom to make choices. I have no regrets.

The first daily affirmation on my list is: “Today I am humble, grateful, positive, calm, patient and tolerant”.  I will share more of these as time goes on.

As we continue on this journey, feel free to share your comments with me. If you have a question, ask and I will answer.

My next entry will touch briefly on my financial life and some of the challenges I overcame.

Thank you for reading, Joye

In my last few posts I’ve touched on the importance of being grateful and giving thanks for all of Life’s Blessings (small and big). Today you will hear about my first real vacation with my sons.

The year is 2003 in August- I am working part time for a retail property management company. My boss was a WONDERFUL Man – very generous and kind. Our landscaper had a cottage near Wasaga Beach, which he offered to rent to me for a week. What a treat – as a child, we spent every summer in Georgian Bay and I cherished those times. Now I had the opportunity to share this special time with my kids. We loaded up my tiny 1998 Hyundai Accent and drove north! We enjoyed sun filled days, we spent the whole day on the beach and each day one sister and her kids would show up to hang out with us. My sons loved hanging out with their cousins every day! We had food, laughter, sunshine, alcohol, games, a warm bed, white sand and the cool and refreshing water of Georgian Bay.

Keep in mind, I was only working part time but my boss gave me vacation money as a bonus and we brought food from home. This holiday didn’t cost us much and I got to spend every day with my kids, which was a blessing in itself as I shared equal custody with my ex during that time.

Our next vacation would be in January 2007 when I was finally able to afford to take them to Walt Disney World, Florida. I started planning for that vacation in Dec. 2005. I had paid off my Hyundai and had a full time job ready for me upon our return.

More on that trip later.

Thank you for reading, Joye

Once I became a single parent in 2000, my main focus centred around taking care of my sons and me. I had a low income, but had means to make extra money. I lived in a rental community that was able to help me financially and I had a lot of family and friend support. Setting goals, visualizing the goal, writing the steps and achieving them was the last thing on my mind. I had to worry about food, gas, clothes, school expenses, day care, car maintenance, hydro, heat all on a part time work salary and a pittance of monthly child support . All I knew was that this life (being a single parent) was going to be a heck of a lot better than being the brunt of my spouses’ anger and frustration. I knew that my life would get better. I was relentless. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad and I believed in this philosophy wholeheartedly. It would take years and some deeper soul searching before I developed the knack for writing daily affirmations. Today I recite them every day and try to live by them every day.

I also pray every night and give thanks for the ABUNDANCE of Blessings in my life – food on the table, shoes on my feet, clothes on my back, excellent health, the opportunity to be the mother of my sons, my family, my friends, my job, money in the bank and money to pay the bills, excellent health of my children, my family and my friends, my three cats, red wine and chocolate, colouring books, a good novel, etc.

Next I will share how I managed to put together our first real vacation to Wasaga Beach in August 2003.

Till then  – Thank you for reading! Joye

I’ve just completed my swim! with the aid of a lovely lady who videotaped the experience for me!

The clean white sand, the boardwalk, the green full foliage.

Hello, All

From this point on, my entries will be a mixture of sharing with you my Life Experiences and my Journey to swim the waters of the Best Beaches. The Title will reflect the content of that day’s entries.

So – I did it! After almost three years of dreaming, planning, saving, researching, sharing and visualizing my goal, I swam Grand Beach, Lake Winnipeg, MB!  I left my B&B in Selkirk and headed straight up Hwy 59 to Lake Winnipeg. It took exactly 45 minutes – less time than the trip to Wasaga Beach, Collingwood, Ont.:). I arrived, eager to park my car, change into my bathing suit and jump into the water. I found an elderly couple on the beach, set up my chair and towel and went straight into the water. Glorious!!! Cool, refreshing, clear and not a zebra mussel in site! The water temperature was about 20 C or 71 F. I ventured out a little further and then dove in. I spotted a woman and her daughter in the water and after sharing my story/goal, she offered to record my swim…I went back to my towel, encased the camcorder in a plastic food container and met her back in the water….I didn’t swim for very long or very far, but just enough for video evidence and for me to give a shout out about my blog…LOL.. I started to cry – I couldn’t believe that I was finally at Grand Beach and had achieved one Lake swim.  I went back into the water a few more times and could have stayed there all afternoon.

My Hostess at Evergreen Gate B&B asked for a picture of me in my swim  suit. I had one taken – she wants to post it and share my story on her Facebook page.

Thank you for reading!  Joye

Who am I? How and why am I at this point in my life? For the next few days I’ll share with you my story – the interesting, the joys, the laughter, the love, the hugs, the sad, the disappointments, the anger, the “ah ha” moments and all of the inconsequential moments ( really there is no such thing as an inconsequential moment……LOL).

I am a firm believer that EVERYTHING HAPPENS for a reason – good and bad. I also  believe deeply that every one of us makes choices every day that will either benefit their lives or hinder it.

I was married for just over 10 years, we dated for almost 4 years before we said “I do”. I knew that he wouldn’t be my life partner and he wasn’t. I am a survivor of domestic abuse and I have two AWESOME, KIND, RESPECTFUL, HARD WORKING, HONEST and CONSIDERATE Sons from that union. I struggled as a single parent, raising my sons in a shared custody arrangement. My sons and I butted heads constantly and I was not strong enough to undo all the damage he caused when it came to discipline. Folks – ask yourself – are you “raising children” or raising the next generation of husbands/wives/ employees/ employers/ aunts/uncles/ mothers/fathers?. This type of parenting is what caused the head butting and the departure of my children from my house to their dad’s house.

So now they live on their own, we have a GREAT relationship with a very strong bond and they don’t see much of their dad. His choices were consequences in his life and what goes around comes around.

Tomorrow I will take you for a walk along the path that has been my life and share with you the choices I made to bring me to this point and this adventure, the first of many.

Stay tuned, please join me again.

Thank you for reading, Joye

In a few days, I will be in Manitoba!. My early morning habit of waking up super super early will ensure I have no difficulty being ready for the taxi at 5:15 am and getting to the airport for 5:30 am on Wednesday……..LOL.

My vacation itinerary is already filling up! I am looking forward to learning about the history of Manitoba and supporting as many of the local businesses as I can. I’ve chosen to stay at two local B&B’s instead of a hotel chain- “A Wee Bit of Heaven” in Morden and “Evergreen Gate B&B” in Selkirk. I’m taking a trolley tour in Winnipeg, visiting the Museum for Canadian Human Rights, visiting the Canadian Mint, taking a river boat cruise along the downtown core, will take a drive to Riding Mountain National Park, will visit Lower Fort Garry and the local zoo and spend an hour on horseback at Miracle Ranch!.  Will also spend a day in Holland, MB. My family comes from the Netherlands – have been there. I’ve also been to Holland, Michigan. Now I can say I’ve been to Holland three times! The second half of my week will include a few days at Grand Beach on Lake Winnipeg – the water temperature is about 20 degrees and I’ve been warned of the presence of “eagle mussels” so I’ll have to wear water shoes. That’s different.

Join me on this exciting adventure – talk to you all next week!

Thank you for reading…..Joye