Single Woman, Motherhood and Shattered Hearts

This post will be one of the most difficult to write and share, without breaking out into tears.

Sometime between May 2007 (when I bought my first car) and late Summer/Fall 2008, both of my sons chose to leave my home and go to live with their dad.  Their ages were 14 years and 10 years – I struggled weekly to parent a young male teenager and pre-teen.

Two young people that were trying to cope with their testosterone, feelings, failures, emotions and puberty. As well as trying to navigate their way thru the two completely different parenting styles of their separated parents. My ex and I had equal shared custody on a two week rotation- Mon/Tues with me, Wed/Thurs with him, Fri/Sat/Sun with me and then the switch on the Monday. He was very rigid and determined that his way was the only way. I parented using Life choices – consequences and benefits.

However this type of parenting did not work……He brainwashed them to believe I was weak and not strong enough to “discipline” the boys….So, I had to choose to either wallow away in my sorrow and heartbreak ( which I did for many months) or start making choices for my life as a single mom/person. Now don’t get me wrong, I was in their life, just without them living with me. I supported them when they needed me, drove them to school/work/football practise, etc, whatever they needed. We spent Mother’s day together, their birthdays, my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve.

Never a week went by when we didn’t touch base and we continued this routine for years. All the while, in the back of my mind, is my determination to always support and love my children. Now when we talk, the conversation ALWAYS END WITH “I Love you”. Remember if  you want to be in your kids future, be in their present.

The summer of 2008 brought us the Summer Olympics, where I watched enthralled the swimmers during their events. I marvelled at the toned upper physiques of both female and male swimmers. A light bulb went off – I want my upper body to look just like theirs! I love swimming, I’m gonna start swimming.

Here we are today:).

Stay tuned when I share my history and choices on exercise, swimming, athletics and more.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share. Joye

Author: JOYE

I am a single woman in her sixties still setting goals and working to achieve them. My kids are grown and doing their own thing. Swimming is both my passion and my chosen favourite form of exercise. I have two cats, love to read, colour and craft. Reading is great, except then I don't leave the house! So, read on as I share with you my journey, through my blog, of my goal to travel across Canada and swim at the 10 Best Beaches in Canada! View all posts by JOYE