Single Older Woman – Living Life Passionately

Every Canadian knows you cannot start a trip without your morning Tim’s.

The year is late 2014/early 2015 and I’m contemplating whether I can save enough money to travel to my first provincial beach that summer – Grand Beach in Manitoba. My initial budget estimate is $3000. I work full time, but like most of us, live paycheck to paycheck and put money aside from overtime, birthday/Christmas funds etc.

The details and time line are a little sketchy at this point, however sometime in March or April, I rec’d an email invite to become a volunteer with the 2015 Pan American Games being held in Ontario Canada, that summer. Wow – what an honour it would be, to be chosen!

For those of you that know me personally, my life is not complete/balanced, if I’m not engaging in some sort of volunteering activity. So as quickly as I could, I filled out the application and sent it in. I waited, waited and waited. Then while out with my family for my birthday, I got the email that confirmed I had been selected to be a Pan Am Volunteer!  I was ecstatic!

The games were held over a two week period in early to mid – July. Well, there went my plans to take a vacation that summer. There was a hurdle though, no pun intended. How was I going to ask for the time off from work? My shifts would be sporadic over the workdays and weekends. Fortunately for me, my boss was very understanding and gave me free rein to take the time off. He only asked that any time off exceeding my banked vacation time, be “paid back” once the Games were complete. No problem.

This experience was one of the most fun, rewarding and interesting times I’ve had as a volunteer. There is an adage that many of us that volunteer and give back to the community have learned. It’s this – you will very seldom meet a miserable volunteer, as they are doing something they love and are not being paid for it. They want to be there and welcome the opportunity to give back.

Sadly though too, that year, I ended a 6 year relationship with my boyfriend. On the day that was the 6th anniversary of the first day we met, I was working my Pan Am shift.

An extraordinary situation happened while I was on shift. He of course, was one of the first people I wanted to share it with. Alas, I waited all day for him to contact me and wish me “happy anniversary” and for me to share with him, this incredible experience.

Well he forgot, never even called me back. I was devastated and chose to end the relationship later that year.

Okay – summer of 2016 – Manitoba- here I come!! Let the planning and saving begin…..

Ah no, 2016 ended up not being the year I travelled to Manitoba…..stay tuned.

Thank you for letting me share. Please join me again. Joye

I’m a one piece swim suit type of gal. Heck I’m in my fifties – my life’s goals, attitudes, philosophies, morals and values are not determined by the choice of swim suit I wear. I wear the one that will give me the most momentum and fluid motion while in the water…..

My two piece black swim suit when I was 17 was acceptable, but not now……My mother, who never worked out a day in her life, save the short spurts of bike riding to the local mall, thought it was perfectly ok to wear a two piece bikini whilst on vacation with us in Wasaga Beach. She was in her early 60’s back then…..She was a character.

I’m reminded of a vacation to Jamaica in the early 1980’s, with 5 friends in tow. We happened to be staying at a resort that was next to a  “swim suit option” section of the beach. Well, you can just imagine my disgust when I observed two VERY ELDERLY swimmers emerging from the ocean – BUTT NAKED…. Yikes….Lettin it all hang out and hang down.

So, back in 2009 I had just a regular type of suit, you know the ones – polyester, $20 from the local store, lots of extra “frills”. Well after a few weeks of swimming in chlorine 3x a week, my suit was dragging me down and the material stretched out. I felt as if I was swimming against a major undertow – lots of drag….I bought another one and again within a few months, the same thing. What a waste of money – there has got to be a better brand of suit for those of us in the water all the time.

In 2010 – I discovered the TYR brand of swim suit- Yippee!!! – good support for the “girls”, tight to the body, material that is chlorine resistant and made from a material that won’t stretch out and cause me to “hang out”!. I discovered a local store and bought my first suit – dark blue with pink piping. What a difference that suit style made to my technique, speed and endurance. The suit just had to be rinsed in cold water and hung upside down to dry. True to the brand, it never stretched, nor faded in colour.

She has just been retired from active swim duty – I bought a new one in early August – same brand, bright patterned green blocks!! Look out – here I come! Much more suited to my extroverted personality. This suit was bought from “Splashables” – a local business in my area. The staff are very pleasant, knowledgeable, courteous and take the time to help their customers find exactly the style they need.

I too don’t wear swimming goggles, nor wear a cap on my head. My hair is short enough – you can’t be a serious swimmer and be concerned about getting your hair out. I do however, wear ear plugs – they are a must. A swimmer’s ear infection is 10 x worse than just your run of the mill ear infection. I’ve had two swimmer’s ear infections and having to get those drops in your ear drum is a pain in the ******.

That’s all for today. Join me again will you? Thank you for reading and for letting me share. Joye

It occurred to me, in re-reading all of my posts, that I neglected to explain about the List of the Ten Best Beaches In Canada.

Circa 2014 – after having swam consistently for the last few years, I was looking for ways to expand on this passion for swimming. As well, I wanted to explore more of my beautiful country by train.

While perusing the Internet, I came across an article from Readers Digest entitled “The Ten Best Beaches in Canada” – I was intrigued that someone out there, actually researched this and wrote an article and had it published in Reader’s Digest. To that person – Thank you! I was inspired and thrilled to build a dream and goal around swimming “thru” Canada and travelling thru Canada.

These are the beaches from that list – in no particular order:

In Ontario– Wasaga Beach (Collingwood), Sauble Beach (Owen Sound), Singing Sands ( Tobermory and in Prince Edward Cty), Manitoba – Grand Beach, Alberta – Devonshire, Saskatchewan – Lake Manitou (Watrous), British Columbia – Long Beach, PEI – Singing Sands at Basin Head, New Brunswick – Parlee Beach.

As I’ve been going to Wasaga Beach, since I was a teen – I could count that beach/water as done. The next question – how to plan my vacations around the other 9 locations?

Can I also get there by train/plane? I figured the other locations in Ontario could be done as day trips with a BFF in tow- easily done over the course of a few summertime weekends – ie,  Tobermory, Owen Sound and Prince Edward County.

So I set about finding photos of these various beaches and constructed my own Goal Poster – on construction paper the colour of cool clear blue water… For added motivation, I also added in photos of those International Beaches that I’d like to get to – Curacao, Aruba, St. Lucia, St. Maarten, Bonaire and Menorca (Majorca), Spain.

So here we are – it’s September 2018 and my BFF and I just returned from New Brunswick and PEI – I’ve done two more. I’ve been lax in my blogging since earlier this year and with renewed motivation and encouragement, will get back on track.

May the recounting of my journey inspire you to discover your passion and live your ideal life. It’s never too late to set a goal and achieve it.

Thank you for letting me share. Joye

One of my earlier posts referred to my decision to take up swimming after watching Michael Phelps in the 2008 Olympics. That event and choice brought me to this point.

Like so many others though trying to navigate their way thru the labyrinth of exercise programs, exercise books, exercise videos, good natured friends and family advice, I too couldn’t decide which activity I would excel at. As a child and young teenager – we had a circular pool in our backyard and we used it all summer long. I biked to the parks with my friends after school, we spent summers up north at Wasaga Beach on Georgian Bay.

While married, did no sort of physical exercise –  my ex just did not see the need or benefit……LOL….. I am not going there.

Eventually I started walking around the block in the mornings, I bought a new bike and rode it occasionally, I joined the local Community Centre gym and paid for some personal training sessions. I tried aerobic classes and stretching classes. At this point, will NEVER DO Yoga, but have tried to “plank”…..ouch!!!!! on the elbows and forearms.

For a couple of months, I even rode my bike to and from work. Loved that!!! So much energy was derived from that activity – it carried me thru the day…… I like to walk and did some school track walking for a bit – kinda boring though – this is way before “Ipods” and walkmans……lol…

Fast forward to summer of 2009. My 3 BFF’s and I had a girls weekend at the Elmhurst Inn in London, ON. I went on a first date with my future “Heart’s Desire” that week and in the same week – I bought my first monthly swim pass to the local Community Centre for their pool – Good deal! $25 for a month of unlimited swimming times at any of their 9 CC pools.

Thank you for reading and for being interested.  Onward we go. Joye

This post will be one of the most difficult to write and share, without breaking out into tears.

Sometime between May 2007 (when I bought my first car) and late Summer/Fall 2008, both of my sons chose to leave my home and go to live with their dad.  Their ages were 14 years and 10 years – I struggled weekly to parent a young male teenager and pre-teen.

Two young people that were trying to cope with their testosterone, feelings, failures, emotions and puberty. As well as trying to navigate their way thru the two completely different parenting styles of their separated parents. My ex and I had equal shared custody on a two week rotation- Mon/Tues with me, Wed/Thurs with him, Fri/Sat/Sun with me and then the switch on the Monday. He was very rigid and determined that his way was the only way. I parented using Life choices – consequences and benefits.

However this type of parenting did not work……He brainwashed them to believe I was weak and not strong enough to “discipline” the boys….So, I had to choose to either wallow away in my sorrow and heartbreak ( which I did for many months) or start making choices for my life as a single mom/person. Now don’t get me wrong, I was in their life, just without them living with me. I supported them when they needed me, drove them to school/work/football practise, etc, whatever they needed. We spent Mother’s day together, their birthdays, my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve.

Never a week went by when we didn’t touch base and we continued this routine for years. All the while, in the back of my mind, is my determination to always support and love my children. Now when we talk, the conversation ALWAYS END WITH “I Love you”. Remember if  you want to be in your kids future, be in their present.

The summer of 2008 brought us the Summer Olympics, where I watched enthralled the swimmers during their events. I marvelled at the toned upper physiques of both female and male swimmers. A light bulb went off – I want my upper body to look just like theirs! I love swimming, I’m gonna start swimming.

Here we are today:).

Stay tuned when I share my history and choices on exercise, swimming, athletics and more.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share. Joye

Last year before I headed to Manitoba to swim at Grand Beach, my swimming goal was to consistently swim 50 lengths, each time I went into the pool. Our gym pool is 25 metres in length, which at 40 lengths is 1 km. I typically can swim this 1 km in 38 minutes. I don’t usually stop at any interval. Now 38 minutes may not seem like a long time, and I’m sure there are many that can surpass that. Awesome effort! I succeeded in achieving my Personal Best, last year of 46 lengths or 1150 metres. Then life happened and I did not get back to the pool on a regular basis.

I swam today. The water temperature was 86 degrees and I had the pool to myself! Today I accomplished 1100 metres! It felt FABULOUS!!! Then time for 5 minutes in the hot tub.

My “Personal Best” goal for this year will be either 54 or 56 lengths consistently. Why 54 or 56, well I celebrate my 55th birthday this year, around the time that summer starts…LOL.. Hey a girl can’t give away all her secrets.. I need an even # of lengths to swim. I have about 3 months until my birthday and another 2 months after that, before I embark on my trip to the next 2 of the “Ten Best Canadian Beaches”. My BFF and I are heading to New Brunswick and PEI! in August, with a side trip to Montreal, Quebec.

Tomorrow I head to the gym to work out with my Personal Trainer ( my son). I’ll be working legs and back tomorrow. For those of you that wonder – yes I also work out at the gym- strength, resistance and Core training. Coupled with time in the pool- I’m exercising my body 4 x a week…… I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my glass of wine, if I didn’t take care of my body first….

All for now – Stay tuned! Thank you for reading and letting me share…..Joye

While the feeling is fresh in my mind – let me share why I swim and why swimming is my bit of Heaven. For all of you that exercise or have another passion in life, you’ll get it.

Remember the motto of GoodLife Fitness that I quoted earlier? “Live for It”. Well this is why.

I didn’t overthink all the reasons why I did not need to swim tonite, it’s too cold, too brisk, it’s dark – surely I can find yet another inane tv show to watch. No!! I JUST WENT TO THE POOL.

I went into the change-room, donned my suit, grabbed my ear plugs and my swimming paddles. I stepped into the water – a soothing yet inviting 85 degrees – ah ah ah.

As I swam, my arms and hands sliced thru the water,  I could feel my breathing, my hips didn’t hurt from sitting all day, the arthritis in my feet didn’t bother me, the muscles in my legs, shoulders and arms welcomed the push thru the water, my shoulder muscles, with each stroke, strengthened the weak rotator cuff, my body felt light and nothing ached. I swam my 1000 metres in about 38 minutes or maybe it 1050 – I lost count during one length…I got my heart rate up to 126 bpm- good cardio. I then sat in the hot tub for 5 minutes and headed back to the change room.

I’m home now, I feel an energy pulsing thru my body and I’m enjoying a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. I will sleep well tonite.

One of my other daily affirmations is – “I feel balanced when I exercise, create, serve others and act responsibly” I have a very full life with many varied activities, errands and responsibilities. When I can work my day, based on that affirmation, then I can handle the stresses of my life in a more positive and productive manner.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share. “Live for it”. Joye

I’m compelled, in honour of International Women’s day today, to share my stories about being over 40 and navigating my way thru online dating or just dating in general…..LOL…

As a survivor of domestic abuse, during my marriage, it took many years before I was comfortable in dating again. I became a single parent in October 2000 and I started “looking around” for a new partner around 2005. Boy what a job!!!!! I set up a profile on one of those free websites (nameless) and started my hunt….

I had a few dates with a few different men, but we never got to the second date……Some of the undesirables, included a guy that was MAD AT THE WORLD and wanted to sue EVERYBODY that did him or his kids an injustice, then a guy that was bald and questioned why I kept my hair short! Would I consider growing it long for him – “oh, but long hair is so sexy”, some other guy that I swear was married, and was closet dating. We had two dates and then I never heard back from him. Another, that seemed to have an issue because I wouldn’t pick up the few pistachio shells on the theatre floor, while we watched a movie. One that was an Executive for a furniture company – we had two dates, including a movie marathon at his condo complete with snacks and pizza and alcohol. We talked a lot online as he preferred to get to know me this way, than being in person. He was very ROMANTIC on paper and then out of the blue, wanted to move things right along, but oh, I still had kids living at home. Oh sorry that won’t work – I’m not willing to wait.

Then along came my heart’s desire in July 2009. He had his own business, loved to cook, was very tidy, owned his own home, smelled good and used such nice loving words….But he was a workaholic and just not prepared to work a little less. Albiet, we were together for just over 6 years. Then I just couldn’t wait anymore.

My BFF’s all want me to find that Mr. Right and be happy. Well I am happy. I am content, I love my life, I have family, friends, a car, a decent job, a decent place to live, lots of outdoor interests, 3 cats. I have my reading, my crafting, my swimming (!), my life goals, my wine, excellent health and lots of restaurants/spas to choose from when my bff’s and I wanna have girl time.

I certainly would enjoy company at nite to talk to, share with, vent with, rejoice with, but our Good Lord has another plan for me.  I REFUSE TO DWELL ON WHAT I DON’T HAVE, instead I rejoice and give thanks for what I do have…..

From one content, AWESOME, FABULOUS, FANTASTIC 54 year old single woman, I tell you this: Ladies – live your life, not someone else’s…..As I like to say (an adage about self empowerment) “What you think of me, is none of my business”.

Thank you for reading and for letting me share. Joye

As my life moved forward and got better, I told my kids we would be going to Walt Disney World in Florida. I had a full time job, I had paid off the loan on my Hyundai Accent and “Darn it” – we were going to Florida. The trip would be in January 2007 – I started planning in Dec. 2005! This trip would be the first major vacation for the three of us and I was not going to let my guys down!

I sourced hotels, parks, rental cars, travel insurance, flights, meals, excursions, daily spending needs, weather, temperature. Plus I had to get approval from their dad to take them out of the country. If nothing I am really good at organization!.

The flight was booked for Jan 3, 2007 at 10:30 am. On Jan. 2 – I waited anxiously for their dad to drop them off – as he had custody of them for that weekend. I panicked that he wouldn’t bring them back. He did:).

Finally the morning had arrived! We made it!

We went to all the parks, Key West, Lego World, Candy Store, etc, and one of the highlights for my sons, was, while all of their friends were back at school after the Holiday break, they were swimming in an outdoor pool in January! The only complaint they had was that I made them go to bed on time, each nite…..They were still just 14 and 10 years old….LOL..

Now we fast forward to March 2016. My trip to Winnipeg, MB took ten and half years to come to fruition- this trip was going to be my first, by myself. Stay tuned as we explore how this came to be…

Thank you for reading and letting me share. Joye

My parents were and continue to be my role model for a life of service and giving back.

We were raised in a Christian household and belonged to a Christian Reformed Church.

I continued the tradition of attending church every Sunday with my sons and sang in the Church choir. But alas, when money was really tight and I had to choose between enough money for groceries or making a donation to the church, we stopped going to church. As my financial situation improved, I chose to live a life of service by volunteering in my community. My adage being, I may not have a lot of money to spare to donate, but I had time, energy, dedication, ideas and commitment.

With organizations abound, I started on my volunteering journey sometime around 2005. One of the first organizations was the Look Good Feel Better program – they help women suffering from cancer, to look and feel better about themselves.

As a woman that had escaped an abusive marriage and was fortunate enough that we did not have to go to a shelter, I volunteered for several years at a local shelter.

As a family from Dutch Descent, I joined my parents in working with a Charity Organization that supports these families in our province. My children benefited from the service – they went to camp in the summer and just before Christmas, we would receive a 20 lb box of groceries/staples to make meals for the Holidays. I continue to support this charity. Once I was able to afford to enroll my sons in sports leagues, I eagerly took on the role of manager, coordinator, treasurer, etc. I volunteered with an organization that supported cycling in our community, I volunteered with the Pan Am Games. As well, the Dutch are renowned for being avid cyclists – I spent many years sitting on an advisory committee working on bringing more bikes/bike lanes to our City.

With my passion for reading, I deliver novels/ digital material to seniors and families who otherwise would not be able to enjoy this worthwhile leisure activity. I spent several months helping a young woman learn how to swim thru the Special Olympics.

I am grateful to be able to afford a vehicle and to afford maintaining that vehicle. For this, I will always offer to help someone get somewhere if they are unable. I spent many years without a car and can appreciate the time and effort it takes to get around with public transit.

I get such joy from giving back. One thing I’ve learned – you will never meet a miserable volunteer, cause they are doing what they do, cause they love it!

Thank you for reading and for letting me share. Joye